Forty. For so long, it was way out there. It was like a marker in life. I figured by the time I got to 40, I would have it all sorted out, but here I am on the verge of 40, and I feel like I live in a snow globe that has been shaken, and hard.
For several years, I always believed I could really be "normal" some day. Be able to marry and have kids. I would buy and read dating/relationship books. I can't remember when it happened, or what caused it, but the day came I realized it was most likely never going to happen. I sold the dating books, and shut the door on that idea.
I really can't put into words how rough this struggle is. Or why I have caved in so many times over the years, when I knew I could not be happy, no matter who I hooked up with, or how great the porn was.
I guess I got so used to giving up at the first sign of rough times. Plus, I used sex & porn to make myself feel better when down. Any negative thing would awaken the temptations. I always thought I could get away from it, but it always got a hold of me and dragged me down.
This may be a poor illustration, but imagine you are a recovering alcoholic, and everywhere you look, there is a bottle of your favorite drink.......but wait, it gets worse. Not only is it wrong/destructive for you to give in, it is even wrong to look at the bottle and desire it. Welcome to my world.
The desires and attractions never go completely away for most people who deal with same-sex attractions. A steady Christian walk, staying close to God, and time can help so it isn't as hard, but it is always there. Don't get me wrong, I don't lust after every guy I see. Though any really nice looking guy, muscular, etc - you get the picture. Thankfully, any guy I know very well who seems to look at me as an equal, is not an issue. Not sure all the whys and hows, but it just isn't a problem.
I have been praying a lot about this stuff lately. That God would help me to be stronger and really get on top of it all, and that as I hit my 40th birthday all too soon, that I would start a new chapter in my life on the right foot. As I was praying earlier this evening, I told God that I want to be in for the long haul. That yes, this is tough stuff to deal with, but I want to get past that, and be what God wants.
I was reading one of my favorite Scriptures the other day, Psalm 23, when my eyes fell on Psalm 25. I started reading it, and it was just what I needed. I read it again tonight (New Living Translation)
1 O Lord, I give my life to you.
2 I trust in you, my God!
Do not let me be disgraced,
or let my enemies rejoice in my defeat.
3 No one who trusts in you will ever be disgraced,
but disgrace comes to those who try to deceive others.
4 Show me the right path, O Lord;
point out the road for me to follow.
5 Lead me by your truth and teach me,
for you are the God who saves me.
All day long I put my hope in you.
6 Remember, O Lord, your compassion and unfailing love,
which you have shown from long ages past.
7 Do not remember the rebellious sins of my youth.
Remember me in the light of your unfailing love,
for you are merciful, O Lord.
I don't think I can easily sum up all the reasons I have failed and given up so many times over the years. There may be several, but one is in the verses above. All day long I put my hope in you. I have come to the realization that I haven't done that enough. Just like Peter looking at the waves and plunging down, I look at the circumstances. I look at the future, instead of truly putting my hope in God.
The devil has tried to convince me that I sinned too much. I failed too often. That God could never truly forgive me, that I would be on a lower scale than other Christians, but these verses also point out God's compassion and unfailing love. And that He truly can - and has - forgiven me of the sins of my youth.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Ray Boltz, Kirk Talley, and The Struggle
There are two Christian singers whose struggle with homosexuality became public, and both under different circumstances.
Back a few years, 2003 or 2004, I'd say, Kirk Talley, a Southern Gospel singer - was "outed" as someone who struggles with homosexuality. I have no idea if he ever pursued the sexual part at all, but one evening was in a gay chat room, chatting with another guy who I believe was claiming to be a Christian. When he found out who Kirk was, he tried to blackmail him - tell his record company and the public. Kirk did the hard thing and called the law in. The man was arrested, but Kirk's struggles became public. He made a comeback with his ministry/career, and speaks publicly about his struggles and is an encouragement to other people who deal with it.
Ray Boltz is more well known, having a music career in the better known Christian Contemporary field, writing and singing some great songs. He too struggled with homosexuality for years, though married with a family. He finally reached a point that he decided since God didn't remove the desires, that it must be ok with God. He divorced his wife, and is pursuing life as a gay man, still claiming to be a Christian living in God's will.
It is easy to knock both men. Kirk was out singing for God, yet in a gay chat room. Ray Boltz decides the lack of deliverance means God's approval. If that were the case, all of the Christians who still fight the desire for the drugs or alcohol they used to be slaves to, may as well go back to them and say it is ok with God.
My struggle would be more like Kirk's, though I do not know if he acted out as I did. For so many years, I bounced back and forth, trying to quit, rise above it,and serve God, only to fall over and over again. Along the way, people found out about my struggle. My family found out, which wasn't pretty - they all know except one brother-in-law. At a Christian business I worked at, a co-worker and "friend" outed me to everyone. I have lost track of how many people know, though I am not public with my struggle. More people don't know than do, that is for sure.
There were many times I felt like completely throwing in the towel. Quit church, openly live as a gay male. I met guys who wanted a relationship with me, but I never went that route for two reasons. I didn't think I could carry it off and not have anyone know, and I was afraid if I did that, I might never come back.
Unlike Ray Boltz, I never once entertained the thought that the lifestyle was ok with God - and I am not putting myself above him for that. I am very thankful I never struggled with that. Possibly because of how conservatively I was raised....I really don't know. The battle for me was never if I could live for God and live as a gay man - the battle has always been trying to serve Christ and not give into the desires & temptations that assail me.
I do wish more churches openly dealt with the issue of homosexuality in a loving and Christ-like way, so that so many people wouldn't struggle in silence, yet there are too many churches openly accepting homosexuality and saying you can be a Christian and be gay. You don't have to change. I really am not sure which God would judge more harshly. Christians who act hateful and judgemental toward people who are gay, or the churches who help ruin and further enslave people who struggle with homosexuality by telling them it is ok. Either attitude can help send people to hell. The second is obvious why. The first extreme can turn homosexuals off on the church so badly that they never have a chance at finding God. And it can hurt those who struggle in silence.
I know of a young man - Lutheran - who was struggling with homosexuality, and had already acted out as a teenager. He went to his pastor, and the pastor told him it was ok - he could be a Christian and be gay. That those verses in the Bible didn't condemn a loving gay relationship. The last I knew, that kid was in college in a relationship with another guy - still professing to be a Christian. If he misses Heaven, his blood will be on that pastor's hands.
It may be a pipe dream, but I believe that every person preparing to be a pastor should learn how to deal with issues like homosexuality. Not every person they come across will have issues like unruly kids or marriage problems. Some of them will have issues like pornography, homosexuality, and worse.
I have often wondered what Jesus would have said to the homosexual when He was here on earth. His silence on the subject is a reason the gay "theologians" say it must be ok. (Most likely, it was not much of an issue where Jesus had His ministry) But what would He have said - and done? Would He have turned aside in disgust, or would He have embraced that person, forgave him, and changed his desires? I believe it would be the latter.
The phrase "what would Jesus do" was a fad for a few years back. You saw WWJD everywhere and on everything. What would Jesus do today with homosexuals? I think He would love them - yet know it was a sin. He would be their friend, and never reject them because He disagreed with their lifestyle.
The world is full of hurting and broken people. People who have never struggled with same-sex attractions have no idea what is like to deal with that issue on a daily basis - likewise, there are people dealing with things I could never relate to. We as a church - as Christians - need to do better at loving the sinner - yes, still hating the sin, and where needed stand up against it - but we will never win the lost - whether it is the homosexual - or the neighbor next door - without love.
Back a few years, 2003 or 2004, I'd say, Kirk Talley, a Southern Gospel singer - was "outed" as someone who struggles with homosexuality. I have no idea if he ever pursued the sexual part at all, but one evening was in a gay chat room, chatting with another guy who I believe was claiming to be a Christian. When he found out who Kirk was, he tried to blackmail him - tell his record company and the public. Kirk did the hard thing and called the law in. The man was arrested, but Kirk's struggles became public. He made a comeback with his ministry/career, and speaks publicly about his struggles and is an encouragement to other people who deal with it.
Ray Boltz is more well known, having a music career in the better known Christian Contemporary field, writing and singing some great songs. He too struggled with homosexuality for years, though married with a family. He finally reached a point that he decided since God didn't remove the desires, that it must be ok with God. He divorced his wife, and is pursuing life as a gay man, still claiming to be a Christian living in God's will.
It is easy to knock both men. Kirk was out singing for God, yet in a gay chat room. Ray Boltz decides the lack of deliverance means God's approval. If that were the case, all of the Christians who still fight the desire for the drugs or alcohol they used to be slaves to, may as well go back to them and say it is ok with God.
My struggle would be more like Kirk's, though I do not know if he acted out as I did. For so many years, I bounced back and forth, trying to quit, rise above it,and serve God, only to fall over and over again. Along the way, people found out about my struggle. My family found out, which wasn't pretty - they all know except one brother-in-law. At a Christian business I worked at, a co-worker and "friend" outed me to everyone. I have lost track of how many people know, though I am not public with my struggle. More people don't know than do, that is for sure.
There were many times I felt like completely throwing in the towel. Quit church, openly live as a gay male. I met guys who wanted a relationship with me, but I never went that route for two reasons. I didn't think I could carry it off and not have anyone know, and I was afraid if I did that, I might never come back.
Unlike Ray Boltz, I never once entertained the thought that the lifestyle was ok with God - and I am not putting myself above him for that. I am very thankful I never struggled with that. Possibly because of how conservatively I was raised....I really don't know. The battle for me was never if I could live for God and live as a gay man - the battle has always been trying to serve Christ and not give into the desires & temptations that assail me.
I do wish more churches openly dealt with the issue of homosexuality in a loving and Christ-like way, so that so many people wouldn't struggle in silence, yet there are too many churches openly accepting homosexuality and saying you can be a Christian and be gay. You don't have to change. I really am not sure which God would judge more harshly. Christians who act hateful and judgemental toward people who are gay, or the churches who help ruin and further enslave people who struggle with homosexuality by telling them it is ok. Either attitude can help send people to hell. The second is obvious why. The first extreme can turn homosexuals off on the church so badly that they never have a chance at finding God. And it can hurt those who struggle in silence.
I know of a young man - Lutheran - who was struggling with homosexuality, and had already acted out as a teenager. He went to his pastor, and the pastor told him it was ok - he could be a Christian and be gay. That those verses in the Bible didn't condemn a loving gay relationship. The last I knew, that kid was in college in a relationship with another guy - still professing to be a Christian. If he misses Heaven, his blood will be on that pastor's hands.
It may be a pipe dream, but I believe that every person preparing to be a pastor should learn how to deal with issues like homosexuality. Not every person they come across will have issues like unruly kids or marriage problems. Some of them will have issues like pornography, homosexuality, and worse.
I have often wondered what Jesus would have said to the homosexual when He was here on earth. His silence on the subject is a reason the gay "theologians" say it must be ok. (Most likely, it was not much of an issue where Jesus had His ministry) But what would He have said - and done? Would He have turned aside in disgust, or would He have embraced that person, forgave him, and changed his desires? I believe it would be the latter.
The phrase "what would Jesus do" was a fad for a few years back. You saw WWJD everywhere and on everything. What would Jesus do today with homosexuals? I think He would love them - yet know it was a sin. He would be their friend, and never reject them because He disagreed with their lifestyle.
The world is full of hurting and broken people. People who have never struggled with same-sex attractions have no idea what is like to deal with that issue on a daily basis - likewise, there are people dealing with things I could never relate to. We as a church - as Christians - need to do better at loving the sinner - yes, still hating the sin, and where needed stand up against it - but we will never win the lost - whether it is the homosexual - or the neighbor next door - without love.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Losing God
I just read an amazing book. "Losing God: Clinging To Faith Through Doubt And Depression", by Matt Rogers. This guy hit it right where I am at. Where I have been - sexual issues aside.
The book is Matt's story of how he went through years of depression. The symptoms he expressed, the issues he had, are the same as a lot of mine. I have wrestled with the idea of a loving God. Just as the author, I could never be an atheist, but have almost viewed God as evil and hateful.
Reading his story has helped me to see that so much of what I have been attributing to spiritual issues and problems, very likely are depression caused and linked. I too dread going to church. Most of the time I sit there and wish I could get up and give radiant testimonies of what God is doing for me, but most of the time, He seems distant and unresponsive.
Down deep, I figured I most likely have depression, but my mom had it late 2007, and everyone knew she had it. She lost weight, talked about not being sure if she was going to make it, etc. I judged myself by her behavior and tried to convince myself that I was not depressed. But I read too many symptoms in this book to deny it. I also found out that men tend to hide it more than women do.
Although the author never took medication at the time of the writing of the book, he admits that he should have, and in reply to an email from myself to him, he told me he has taken medication since the printing of the book. He figures my sexual struggles most likely play a big part in my depression, which is no surprise to me.
He did get help and got through the depression. I am glad he wrote the book, and that I read it. Reading it was not a miracle cure, but it did open my eyes to the reality of depression, that I do indeed have it, and that it greatly influences one's view of God and their spiritual life.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Labels
Ran across a couple of things I wrote a few years ago, and decided to post them here. To be honest, with how depressed and discouraged I have been for so long, this is like reading something that somebody else wrote, though I still believe what I wrote. I don't know how many people actually read this blog, but thought I would post it here:
Warning: if you consider yourself to be "ex-gay", the following post may be offensive to you!
Also, I am not making light or minimizing those few who have truly found total freedom from all homosexual desires and attractions. I realize that there are some of you that do exist.
Some years ago we got a new pastor at our church that had several kids, which were not too well-behaved. One thing they pulled once that was funny and cute involved labels. Our Christian school saved Campbell's Soup labels, and a pep talk had just been given at school about saving the labels, and to bring in as many as the kids could. So two of the kids went home, got in the cupboard where the soup was, and removed every soup label off the cans in there. It made their meals interesting for a while - no one had any idea what kind of soup they were opening!
Labels on food are pretty necessary. Otherwise you'd buy what you think might be chicken soup, and open it to find mushrooms. Uggh! There are other areas in life that we need labels also. It would be a pain buying clothes if there was no label saying what size it was. Instead of buying the XL size I need - if I didn't try it on, I might end up with a medium.
I do wish we could do like these kids and rip off the labels we wear and attach to people. Even denominational labels. Who cares if you are a Baptist or Episcopalian? I think some Christians would be shocked if you told them up in Heaven there will be no denominations. What will get you in there is the blood of Christ, and that alone.
The labels I am most becoming to detest, are the ones that can be attached to me. Gay. Homosexual. Ex-Gay. Former homosexual. Good grief! Why can't we just be Christians?!
My best friend has addressed the ex-gay issue some, and so has a guy on the forum part of this site. The thing is, I am not sure there are that many ex-gays. Let's look at the definition of "ex-gay": the very term "ex" means "former". Ex-wife is your former wife - she isn't your wife anymore. So if you are "ex-gay", you were formerly gay, and you are not anymore. So am I am I an ex-gay?
Let's look at another definition: gay. The first definition that popped up is: Of, relating to, or having a sexual orientation to persons of the same sex. Well guess what? That still applies to me. I have quit sex with other guys, quit the gay porn, with a relapse here and there, but I still have an orientation - or attraction - to persons of the same sex - men.
Most of the "ex-gays" I have read books or testimonies of, admit there are still times that they struggle with attractions and/or desire for other guys. Even the ones that are married and have a ton of kids. I used to feel there was something wrong with me when I would repent and try to live for God, but still find guys attractive. No matter how hard I prayed, it was still there. In fact, I bought gasoline two days ago, and went inside to pay, and a young muscular guy took my money, and the thought immediately went through my mind "man is he cute!" And he was. So, does that mean I am not "ex-gay". Does that mean I am not a Christian?
See how bad labels can be? I am no ex-gay, and most of the "ex-gays" running around are not either. We are guys that are attracted to other guys. "Gay Christian" seems to be a paradoxical phrase, but is that what I am? I still am attracted to other guys, though I am trying to serve God and keep my thoughts and actions pure and right in God's eyes. In a lot of people's eyes, I would still be labeled "gay". A lot of Christians would doubt my Christianity for admitting I am still attracted to other guys. A lot of gays would doubt my claim to freedom since I am still attracted to other guys. So what am I?
I will tell you what I am: I am a Christian. Pure and simple. So what if I am tempted by the sin of homosexuality? If it wasn't that sin, it would be another. People who have been guilty of other sins don't keep their label. We don't look at people in church and think: "there is Sally - the "ex-liar", there is Tom, the "former thief"." You gotta be kidding! God forgave them of whatever sin they were guilty of. If Sally is still tempted to lie, does that mean she is still a liar? Nope! Sorry for my language, but screw the labels. If we are serving God, that is all that matters! Jesus' blood wipes away all traces of sin, so should we keep the label attached to remind ourselves and others of what we were?
Speaking of what we were, another label that is getting to me, is "freed". Freed from what?! Most people who say they are ex-gay or former homosexual are not totally free from the attractions and desires, though they may not struggle with them much, depending on the person. So can we say we have been freed from homosexuality? Time to go to dictionary.com again:
First definition of homosexuality: Sexual orientation to persons of the same sex. Second definition: Sexual activity with another of the same sex. Man, now we not only need to worry about labels, we need to worry about which definition we are referring to when we use that label! I'd pull my hair out if I had any on my head!
God has set me free from the life I used to live. Days and nights of pornography and anonymous sexual encounters with guys that half the time I didn't even know their first name. So what if He hasn't removed the attraction and desire for other guys. Isn't what He did a miracle in and of itself? I'd say He set me free from the gay lifestyle, but I read someone's opinion on that one, and they had some pretty good points. I will quote him here, as he said it pretty well:
"One of the things that I find particularly unattractive in my discussions with some of the leaders of various ex-gay ministries is their use and definition of the term "gay lifestyle" because it is very obvious that they are saying gay=sex. A good friend of mine is a noted gay author and sex advice columnist who is also in a long-term committed relationship. He thinks that we are crazy for the no-sex policy, but otherwise we pretty much agree on a lot. One of those being that the "gay lifestyle" that is so derisively thrown around applies to many straight people. No, not sleeping with the same sex, but having lots of hook ups with the opposite sex."
Good point there. What is so much referred to as the gay lifestyle sure can cover a lot, but in most cases, it is used to refer to the promiscuous sex that a lot of gays practice. I said a lot - not all. So if we say someone is living the heterosexual lifestyle, or straight lifestyle, do we immediately assume that the guy, or girl, is having multiple sexual encounters? Nope. Hence, another label we should toss out the window. Many thanks to a guy who calls himself "alfaboy2000" for pointing out how bad it is to use this term, and for providing the above quote. Hopefully he won't mind my use of it. He has started contributing to the forum on here, and although he is someone I wouldn't agree with on some things, I am sure - he has some pretty intelligent things to say. In fact, his posts were what got my little brain working on this topic.
There is something we need to remember: the whole issue of homosexuality is complex, and cannot be put in a neat little package like we like to do with everything. The most important thing of all is if we wear the label of Christian, and truly live it. We need to let God be the judge of who is really wearing it well, and who is not.
It is definitely wrong for people of the same gender to be sexually involved with one another and/or lust after another person of the same sex. But all too often, just as the desire for alcohol may stick with the recovering alcoholic for the rest of his life, so attractions and desires for the same sex may stay with the person who though struggles with same-sex desires, has given his life to God.
What is most important, is to keep Christ #1 in our lives, and live a life that is pleasing to Him. On the day we face Him, whether by death, or when He returns to claim His own, all I care is to hear those words, “Well done, thou good and faithful servant”. On that day, who I am sexually will have no bearing whatsoever. What will matter is if I have lived my life the way He wants me to live it.
Warning: if you consider yourself to be "ex-gay", the following post may be offensive to you!
Also, I am not making light or minimizing those few who have truly found total freedom from all homosexual desires and attractions. I realize that there are some of you that do exist.
Some years ago we got a new pastor at our church that had several kids, which were not too well-behaved. One thing they pulled once that was funny and cute involved labels. Our Christian school saved Campbell's Soup labels, and a pep talk had just been given at school about saving the labels, and to bring in as many as the kids could. So two of the kids went home, got in the cupboard where the soup was, and removed every soup label off the cans in there. It made their meals interesting for a while - no one had any idea what kind of soup they were opening!
Labels on food are pretty necessary. Otherwise you'd buy what you think might be chicken soup, and open it to find mushrooms. Uggh! There are other areas in life that we need labels also. It would be a pain buying clothes if there was no label saying what size it was. Instead of buying the XL size I need - if I didn't try it on, I might end up with a medium.
I do wish we could do like these kids and rip off the labels we wear and attach to people. Even denominational labels. Who cares if you are a Baptist or Episcopalian? I think some Christians would be shocked if you told them up in Heaven there will be no denominations. What will get you in there is the blood of Christ, and that alone.
The labels I am most becoming to detest, are the ones that can be attached to me. Gay. Homosexual. Ex-Gay. Former homosexual. Good grief! Why can't we just be Christians?!
My best friend has addressed the ex-gay issue some, and so has a guy on the forum part of this site. The thing is, I am not sure there are that many ex-gays. Let's look at the definition of "ex-gay": the very term "ex" means "former". Ex-wife is your former wife - she isn't your wife anymore. So if you are "ex-gay", you were formerly gay, and you are not anymore. So am I am I an ex-gay?
Let's look at another definition: gay. The first definition that popped up is: Of, relating to, or having a sexual orientation to persons of the same sex. Well guess what? That still applies to me. I have quit sex with other guys, quit the gay porn, with a relapse here and there, but I still have an orientation - or attraction - to persons of the same sex - men.
Most of the "ex-gays" I have read books or testimonies of, admit there are still times that they struggle with attractions and/or desire for other guys. Even the ones that are married and have a ton of kids. I used to feel there was something wrong with me when I would repent and try to live for God, but still find guys attractive. No matter how hard I prayed, it was still there. In fact, I bought gasoline two days ago, and went inside to pay, and a young muscular guy took my money, and the thought immediately went through my mind "man is he cute!" And he was. So, does that mean I am not "ex-gay". Does that mean I am not a Christian?
See how bad labels can be? I am no ex-gay, and most of the "ex-gays" running around are not either. We are guys that are attracted to other guys. "Gay Christian" seems to be a paradoxical phrase, but is that what I am? I still am attracted to other guys, though I am trying to serve God and keep my thoughts and actions pure and right in God's eyes. In a lot of people's eyes, I would still be labeled "gay". A lot of Christians would doubt my Christianity for admitting I am still attracted to other guys. A lot of gays would doubt my claim to freedom since I am still attracted to other guys. So what am I?
I will tell you what I am: I am a Christian. Pure and simple. So what if I am tempted by the sin of homosexuality? If it wasn't that sin, it would be another. People who have been guilty of other sins don't keep their label. We don't look at people in church and think: "there is Sally - the "ex-liar", there is Tom, the "former thief"." You gotta be kidding! God forgave them of whatever sin they were guilty of. If Sally is still tempted to lie, does that mean she is still a liar? Nope! Sorry for my language, but screw the labels. If we are serving God, that is all that matters! Jesus' blood wipes away all traces of sin, so should we keep the label attached to remind ourselves and others of what we were?
Speaking of what we were, another label that is getting to me, is "freed". Freed from what?! Most people who say they are ex-gay or former homosexual are not totally free from the attractions and desires, though they may not struggle with them much, depending on the person. So can we say we have been freed from homosexuality? Time to go to dictionary.com again:
First definition of homosexuality: Sexual orientation to persons of the same sex. Second definition: Sexual activity with another of the same sex. Man, now we not only need to worry about labels, we need to worry about which definition we are referring to when we use that label! I'd pull my hair out if I had any on my head!
God has set me free from the life I used to live. Days and nights of pornography and anonymous sexual encounters with guys that half the time I didn't even know their first name. So what if He hasn't removed the attraction and desire for other guys. Isn't what He did a miracle in and of itself? I'd say He set me free from the gay lifestyle, but I read someone's opinion on that one, and they had some pretty good points. I will quote him here, as he said it pretty well:
"One of the things that I find particularly unattractive in my discussions with some of the leaders of various ex-gay ministries is their use and definition of the term "gay lifestyle" because it is very obvious that they are saying gay=sex. A good friend of mine is a noted gay author and sex advice columnist who is also in a long-term committed relationship. He thinks that we are crazy for the no-sex policy, but otherwise we pretty much agree on a lot. One of those being that the "gay lifestyle" that is so derisively thrown around applies to many straight people. No, not sleeping with the same sex, but having lots of hook ups with the opposite sex."
Good point there. What is so much referred to as the gay lifestyle sure can cover a lot, but in most cases, it is used to refer to the promiscuous sex that a lot of gays practice. I said a lot - not all. So if we say someone is living the heterosexual lifestyle, or straight lifestyle, do we immediately assume that the guy, or girl, is having multiple sexual encounters? Nope. Hence, another label we should toss out the window. Many thanks to a guy who calls himself "alfaboy2000" for pointing out how bad it is to use this term, and for providing the above quote. Hopefully he won't mind my use of it. He has started contributing to the forum on here, and although he is someone I wouldn't agree with on some things, I am sure - he has some pretty intelligent things to say. In fact, his posts were what got my little brain working on this topic.
There is something we need to remember: the whole issue of homosexuality is complex, and cannot be put in a neat little package like we like to do with everything. The most important thing of all is if we wear the label of Christian, and truly live it. We need to let God be the judge of who is really wearing it well, and who is not.
It is definitely wrong for people of the same gender to be sexually involved with one another and/or lust after another person of the same sex. But all too often, just as the desire for alcohol may stick with the recovering alcoholic for the rest of his life, so attractions and desires for the same sex may stay with the person who though struggles with same-sex desires, has given his life to God.
What is most important, is to keep Christ #1 in our lives, and live a life that is pleasing to Him. On the day we face Him, whether by death, or when He returns to claim His own, all I care is to hear those words, “Well done, thou good and faithful servant”. On that day, who I am sexually will have no bearing whatsoever. What will matter is if I have lived my life the way He wants me to live it.
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