October update

   My relationship with God has been a bit rocky lately. Partly in fact to my depression acting up, as it always does when colder weather starts setting in, but thankfully it isn't as bad as it has been before.

  I have also been up and down a bit with porn. I am on what I call the cycle right now. I buy my "props", for lack of a better word, indulge in porn for a day or two, feel guilty and throw everything out. repent, and go without for a week. I keep trying to remind myself of how I feel after I binge, so hopefully I can end the cycle for good. I even put a filter on my pc, but found a way around it. I have it on some of my devices, but not my main pc.

  I can't remember when I last hooked up, but I think it has been at least a year. Time has been going by so fast, and I can't pinpoint exactly when it was, but I am pretty sure it has been at least a year. Summer was rough with temptations of lust, but there wasn't much temptation to hook up with anyone. As I mentioned before, my main temptation has been to go to bathhouses, and the times I can do that are rare because of my living arrangements. The last time I could have gone, I got violently sick, which may or may not have been God...... but I am leaning towards the idea that it was.

  I would like to do more on this blog, but am not sure what to blog about. It is sad that I tend to blog more when I am struggling most, but I would like to post encouraging things once in a while in case anyone happens on my blog who also struggles with SSA.

  For now, I will just do this update for anyone who does read my blog.

Homosexuality is a sin - a reply to Jerry and Michelle

 

I am a bit amused when people try to argue on here about homosexuality not being a sin. Believe me, as someone who has struggled with same-sex attractions, and has given into those desires too many times and for too many years....... I have searched, prayed, read, plead with God, and more to in hopes that it was really OK.

  I have lived it and felt the guilt from God, not guilt from Christians or self imposed guilt. When God is dealing with you on something, you know it is God. I am thankful God never let me go over to where I believed it was OK, which has happened to people.

 On September 29, Jerry wrote on a blog post I posted the article The Exodus of the Gospel from Exodus by Matt Moore:  "The Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John show us that neither Jesus nor anyone who walked with him during his life, spoke against homosexuality." So, Jerry, by your thinking, incest, bestiality, sex with children as long as they are OK with it, forgery, and a host of other sins and crimes are OK that Jesus didn't specifically mention in the Bible. Your argument is one of the weakest, no offense intended. The whole Bible is God's Word, and Jesus said that He and the Father are one..... so technically Jesus did say homosexuality is wrong other places in the Bible.

  Michelle wrote on October 20 in reply to my blog post "My reply to John on Ray Boltz. Kirk Talley, and the struggle:  "I think you will have some difficulty finding scientific studies that say life experiences make people gay. I agree with"John" that it's a good thing God is our judge and not men. True seekers of God don't find a comfort in living a false spiritual life. The Holy Spirit is drawing us in. If you continue both ignoring your own sense of acceptance AND the guiding of the Spirit you will believe the lie and be damned. It's not the same. I believe I will see that man's son.in Heaven."

  Michelle: Yes, God is our judge, and that should scare the dickens out of any of us. And since when was it judging to call a sin what the Bible says is a sin? Is it a sin to call robbery, murder, child molestation, etc,. a sin? Of course not...... and the same Bible that condemns those, would also condemn living in homosexual sin. As for science: conservative studies have been done to prove what you say can't be proven. Maybe you need to broaden your thinking.

  And how dare you accuse me of judging when I say homosexuality is wrong?? I have lived it.... I am guessing you have not. God has saved me and delivered me from the sin of homosexuality. Do I still have the attractions? Yes, but thank God He has delivered me from whoring out my body for a few minutes of pleasure.