September update

  I was looking over past blog posts and noticed a trend. There are many blog posts that are negative and were written when I was struggling badly with sexual issues and believing God's love. Now that things are going well, I am not as apt to post on here. There is also the added factor that I "outted" myself on the blog where I am not anonymous, though I will never be as open there as I am here.

  But I don't want this blog to just have posts of when I was discouraged and struggling.... thus this blog post.

  Things have been going pretty well lately. Depression was holding me back a lot for a while, but things are better in that area, thankfully. The temptations to hook up are still rare and not much of a temptation. Porn and lust are still a temptation, but they don't have the strong hold on me that they used to have.

 Just yesterday I saw a shirtless young guy mowing, and another walking down the street..... and I looked, but did I lust? I was tempted to circle back and get another look, but did not.

  My relationship with God is getting back on track after a few months of feeling disconnected - the depression. I have always been one to go by feelings and emotions too much, and depression messes that up a lot.

 I still can't see marriage ever happening for me, and that is OK. I have gotten used to being single, and I like solitude. Sure, I get lonely some, but marriage is no assurance that a person will never be lonely.

 There are some other positive things going on in my life right now, and God willing a new chapter will be starting in my life that I believe will be good for me and help me in a lot of ways. More on that later..

 I still believe my big breakthrough came as a result of finally believing God loves me, an assurance that is still with me. I am very thankful for how far God has brought me, and have hope for the future that I didn't have for so long.

 I have been neglecting this blog, but will try to do better in the coming days. God bless

My book shelf, part 1

  There have been several great books written in recent years on the issue of homosexuality from a Christian and conservative viewpoint. I am sure I haven't read all of them, but here are some I have read lately that I thought were good and worth mentioning:

1) Satisfaction Guranteed by Jonathan Berry and Rob Wood

Book description:


Convinced that real satisfaction can be found only in a relationship with Jesus Christ, the author aims to encourage, inspire and equip all who struggle with same-sex temptations to resist, but 'make him their greatest treasure and live life to the full'. He invites us to dig deep and discover great truths about our awesome God and his plans and purposes for our lives, for only then can we live bravely, boldly and counter-culturally. He writes candidly, humbly and sensitively, with fellow strugglers in mind, but also their friends, families and the church leaders who support them, interweaving deeply personal stories from real life. God is good. He can be trusted even in the most painful situation. The surprising paradox is that it is the narrow road that leads to the abundant life promised by Jesus.

Check out their website at Satisfaction In Christ



2) Dwelling In the Land by Jeanette Howard

This one is by a woman, and I didn't find it as helpful as others I have read.... don't know if that is why, but it is worth mentioning.

Book description:

An important new volume by the author of Out of EgyptSome Christians who think of themselves as "gay" have sought healing and sexual reorientation. Some have chosen a freer interpretation of the biblical texts. Others don't know where they belong or what they should believe. Still others remain gay-identified yet choose celibacy. All have found that their sexual orientation strongly influences, even defines, who they perceive themselves to be.

Jeanette believes that to identify herself as "gay" does not do justice to what God has been doing in her life. Christians belong to Christ. "I have been born from on high and have a completely new DNA, God's DNA, residing in me and flowing through me," says Jeanette. "I am no longer a sinner but a saint. I am a daughter of the King."

With intelligence, compassion and fellow-feeling Jeanette explains what it means, as a Christian who has wrestled for the whole of her adult life with same--sex attraction, to live honestly and consistently as a Bible--believing Christian.

3) Struggle Central by Thomas Mark Zuniga

This book is written from one of the guys at the Your Other Brothers website - a site I highly recommend. He also has his own website at ThomasMarkZuniga.com

Book description:

Struggle Central is a collection of “messy memoirs” from the quarter-life of blogger, Thomas Mark Zuniga. After an ideal upbringing in eastern Pennsylvania, he learned what it meant to struggle in northeast Georgia. Growing up in a perpetual Christian bubble, he confesses the ridicule he received at Christian schools and the isolation he experienced in churches across America. From fear to shame to closeted issues of sexuality, this book charts the struggles of a young introverted Christian trying to find his way in the world – and ultimately, the Church. It wasn't until a second cross-country relocation to southern California that he started finding what he’d long thought impossible.


4) Critical Conversations by Tom Gilson

This book isn't as much for people dealing with same-sex attractions as it is for parents to talk to their kids about it.... though I still found it helpful.

Book description: 

Christian parents need to be prepared to answer the myriad challenges teens might hear in today's increasingly pro homosexual culture. "Why shouldn't gays get married?" “Who says gay sex is wrong?" "Does the Bible actually say there's anything wrong with homosexuality?" "Don't you care that kids are being bullied just for being themselves?"

To start the discussion, Gilson provides a brief history of the issues beginning with the sexual revolution of the 1960s. He explains how and why cultural attitudes have reversed on this subject in such a short time-span, leaving Christians scrambling for answers.

This is perhaps the most complicated and contentious issue Christians face in today's culture. Most churches are poorly equipped to handle it; parents are even less prepared. The good news is that parents need not have pat answers ready before they dive into conversations with their teens and preteens on this difficult topic. Learning together—parents struggling through these issues alongside their kids and leading them to biblical answers— has relational benefits.

Answers are important, though, so manageable, nontechnical answers to common questions surrounding this issue are provided, as well as a guide to further resources.

5) Messy Grace by Caleb Kalttenbach

Book description:

Sometimes, grace gets messy.

Caleb Kaltenbach was raised by LGBT parents, marched in gay pride parades as a youngster, and experienced firsthand the hatred and bitterness of some Christians toward his family.

But then Caleb surprised everyone, including himself, by becoming a Christian…and a pastor.

Very few issues in Christianity are as divisive as the acceptance of the LGBT community in the church. As a pastor and as a person with beloved family members living a gay lifestyle, Caleb had to face this issue with courage and grace. 


Messy Grace shows us that Jesus’s command to “love your neighbor as yourself” doesn’t have an exception clause for a gay “neighbor”—or for that matter, any other “neighbor” we might find it hard to relate to. Jesus was able to love these people and yet still hold on to his beliefs. So can you. Even when it’s messy.

6) The Transparent Life by McKrae Game

This book was written by the head of the Hope For Wholeness Ministry...... and there is something written in it by yours truly......

Secrets destroy families, relationships, and will stop personal growth. Too many people go through life wearing a mask of shame, terrified that if anyone knew the "real me," they would be shunned and alone. Unfortunately many churches and society tell us to keep our struggles, addictions, and pasts hidden. Hiding our problems will not make them go away. There is a way to be free from the shame and guilt. It begins by understanding The Transparent Life. Author McKrae Game is the president and founder of Hope for Wholeness Network. He lives a transparent life and his ministry has counseled countless men and women to begin their own healing by removing the mask and letting people in. This book is for anyone who desires to be free from struggles, addictions, and secrets.




These are just 6 books I have read lately that I found helpful. I will do another post in the future about others. If you have read any that you recommend, let me know and I'll mention it.

I surrender my sexual desires

 

  I recently had a comment on my other blog by a gay man that bothered me. It wasn't the fact that the man disagreed with me, but it was what he said. He commented that if he believed that I was right in what I believe about homosexuality, he'd kill himself and just go to be with Jesus, because he couldn't handle life without a partner.

  This man's sexual identitity and need for a partner is more important to him than serving God. No matter what it is, if we feel we'd rather die than give something up for God, whether it is sinful or not, we value that thing more than we value God.

  To be a "gay Christian", one must overlook, twist, and re-interpret several Bible verses to make the Bible say something totally different about homosexuality.

    What these individuals don't seem to get, or don't want to get, is Jesus asks the same thing of all of us: deny ourselves, take up our cross, and follow him. Those pushing the pro-gay theology seem to believe that gay people are exempt from this command of Jesus, along with the command to repent and sin no more. But to truly follow Jesus means denying yourself of any sin, repenting of all sin, and leaving all sin. We who deal with same-sex attractions do not get a special pass to keep doing what the Bible says is sin. No matter how people try to twist the Bible verses, no matter how unfair it may seem, we cannot serve God and do what the Bible says is sin. Anyone who truly believes that is on dangerous ground.

  There's a hymn we used to sing in church titled "I Surrender All". That is what everyone following Jesus must do, and it isn't easy to surrender all to follow Jesus. I have to wonder many "gay Christians" have prayed and submitted their sexuality, sexual attractions, and desires to God.... or have they just tossed aside the need to do that? Can you truly submit this area of your  life to God and continue living the same way?

  Granted, gay people are not the only ones falling short of submitting their all to Jesus and denying themselves. This modern Christianity we have is so shallow and lukewarm that it asks for no denial, no surrender, no cross, and no true repentance and leaving of sin.

  We all are going to stand before God some day to give account our lives. I am afraid there will be many people on that day who will miss Heaven because they chose to put their sexuality before God. Man's opinions and interpretations of Scripture won't matter on that day, and no excuse will work with God. We must all truly surrender our all, repent, and leave our sin.....even homosexuality.... while we can.