Ray Boltz, Kirk Talley, and The Struggle

There are two Christian singers whose struggle with homosexuality became public, and both under different circumstances.

Back a few years, 2003 or 2004, I'd say, Kirk Talley, a Southern Gospel singer - was "outed" as someone who struggles with homosexuality. I have no idea if he ever pursued the sexual part at all, but one evening was in a gay chat room, chatting with another guy who I believe was claiming to be a Christian. When he found out who Kirk was, he tried to blackmail him - tell his record company and the public. Kirk did the hard thing and called the law in. The man was arrested, but Kirk's struggles became public. He made a comeback with his ministry/career, and speaks publicly about his struggles and is an encouragement to other people who deal with it.

Ray Boltz is more well known, having a music career in the better known Christian Contemporary field, writing and singing some great songs. He too struggled with homosexuality for years, though married with a family. He finally reached a point that he decided since God didn't remove the desires, that it must be ok with God. He divorced his wife, and is pursuing life as a gay man, still claiming to be a Christian living in God's will.

It is easy to knock both men. Kirk was out singing for God, yet in a gay chat room. Ray Boltz decides the lack of deliverance means God's approval. If that were the case, all of the Christians who still fight the desire for the drugs or alcohol they used to be slaves to, may as well go back to them and say it is ok with God.

My struggle would be more like Kirk's, though I do not know if he acted out as I did. For so many years, I bounced back and forth, trying to quit, rise above it,and serve God, only to fall over and over again. Along the way, people found out about my struggle. My family found out, which wasn't pretty - they all know except one brother-in-law. At a Christian business I worked at, a co-worker and "friend" outed me to everyone. I have lost track of how many people know, though I am not public with my struggle. More people don't know than do, that is for sure.

There were many times I felt like completely throwing in the towel. Quit church, openly live as a gay male. I met guys who wanted a relationship with me, but I never went that route for two reasons. I didn't think I could carry it off and not have anyone know, and I was afraid if I did that, I might never come back.

Unlike Ray Boltz, I never once entertained the thought that the lifestyle was ok with God - and I am not putting myself above him for that. I am very thankful I never struggled with that. Possibly because of how conservatively I was raised....I really don't know. The battle for me was never if I could live for God and live as a gay man - the battle has always been trying to serve Christ and not give into the desires & temptations that assail me.

I do wish more churches openly dealt with the issue of homosexuality in a loving and Christ-like way, so that so many people wouldn't struggle in silence, yet there are too many churches openly accepting homosexuality and saying you can be a Christian and be gay. You don't have to change. I really am not sure which God would judge more harshly. Christians who act hateful and judgemental toward people who are gay, or the churches who help ruin and further enslave people who struggle with homosexuality by telling them it is ok. Either attitude can help send people to hell. The second is obvious why. The first extreme can turn homosexuals off on the church so badly that they never have a chance at finding God. And it can hurt those who struggle in silence.

I know of a young man - Lutheran - who was struggling with homosexuality, and had already acted out as a teenager. He went to his pastor, and the pastor told him it was ok - he could be a Christian and be gay. That those verses in the Bible didn't condemn a loving gay relationship. The last I knew, that kid was in college in a relationship with another guy - still professing to be a Christian. If he misses Heaven, his blood will be on that pastor's hands.

It may be a pipe dream, but I believe that every person preparing to be a pastor should learn how to deal with issues like homosexuality. Not every person they come across will have issues like unruly kids or marriage problems. Some of them will have issues like pornography, homosexuality, and worse.

I have often wondered what Jesus would have said to the homosexual when He was here on earth. His silence on the subject is a reason the gay "theologians" say it must be ok. (Most likely, it was not much of an issue where Jesus had His ministry) But what would He have said - and done? Would He have turned aside in disgust, or would He have embraced that person, forgave him, and changed his desires? I believe it would be the latter.

The phrase "what would Jesus do" was a fad for a few years back. You saw WWJD everywhere and on everything. What would Jesus do today with homosexuals? I think He would love them - yet know it was a sin. He would be their friend, and never reject them because He disagreed with their lifestyle.

The world is full of hurting and broken people. People who have never struggled with same-sex attractions have no idea what is like to deal with that issue on a daily basis - likewise, there are people dealing with things I could never relate to. We as a church - as Christians - need to do better at loving the sinner - yes, still hating the sin, and where needed stand up against it - but we will never win the lost - whether it is the homosexual - or the neighbor next door - without love.