"John" and I have been friends for around 12 years, though we have never met. He lives several states away from me, but hopefully we can meet some day. We met in a Christian Yahoo chat room at a low time in his life. He was dealing with same-sex attractions and had given in, and somehow we crossed paths in this chat room. At the time, I was in one of my "up-times" where I was abstaining from sex and porn and actually living for God, and according to him I was a big help. Due to social media, especially Facebook and cell phones, we have been been able to get to know each other even better in recent years and keep in daily contact.
John has messaged me a few times this week about his one and only fall into immorality. It has been 12 years, but he has recently been hit with a lot of pain and guilt over his actions, and has been hitting me up on how to deal with it. I tried to come up with the right words, and I hope I was a help, but his situation has resulted in this blog post where I hope I can get across what I want to say.
The Bible says God forgives our sins as far as the east is from the west. Someone has said the reason north and south wasn't used, is if you keep going south far enough, you'll start going north.... and vice versa. However, that doesn't happen with east and west. I assume that is true, and brings home the truth that our sins are gone forever and cannot be found.
God doesn't bring up our sins that He has forgiven. He doesn't even berate us if we fall to them again. That "you are such a failure, aren't you ever going to stop doing that", etc comes from the devil, not God. God hasn't brought my friend's sin from 12 years ago up, the devil has brought it up and is doing his best to mess with my friend.
John sinned with one guy. I sinned with so many that I can only put a ballpark figure on how many it may have been. I often feel regret over how I spent so much of my life, but as far as I went and as deep into sin I went, I don't really struggle too much with my past the way my friend has been lately though.
These last three years have been the best years of my life in regards to God and my relationship with Him. I still struggle with depression and feelings of failure, but I have come to see the reality of God's love for me, and the realization that His mercy and grace are far greater and long lasting than I ever could imagine. We humans tend to remember transgressions against us, and though we may forgive, we may never trust that person again....especially if they are a repeat offender. Yet God, who knows all we have done and ever will do.....even that we are going to sin in that area again, forgives us without hesitation. And when He forgives, He doesn't sigh and remind us of how many times He has already forgiven us for that same sin,
So my friend needs to do the same thing with his sin that God has done: leave it in the past, and let it go. When the devil brings it up, remind him that it is forgiven and that he is not that same man anymore. And then thank God for forgiveness and His love, grace, and mercy.
Here I am lord and I'm drowning
In your sea of forgetfulness
The chains of yesterday surround me
I yearn for peace and rest
I don't want to end up where you found me
And it echoes in my mind
Keeps me awake tonight
I know you've cast my sin as far
As the east is from the west
And I stand before you now
As though I've never sinned
But today I feel like I'm just one mistake away
From you leaving me this way
Jesus, can you show me just how far the east is from the west?
Cause I can't bear to see the man I've been
Rising up in me again
In the arms of your mercy I find rest
You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other
I start the day, the war begins
Endless reminding of my sin
And time and time again
Your truth is drowned out by the storm I'm in
Today I feel like I'm just one mistake away
From you leaving me this way
Jesus, can you show me just how far the east is from the west?
Cause I can't bear to see the man I've been
Rising up in me again
In the arms of your mercy I find rest
You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other
I know you've washed me white
Turned my darkness into light
I need your peace to get me through
To get me through this night
I can't live by what I feel
About the truth your word reveals
And I'm not holding onto you
But you're holding onto me
You're holding onto me
Jesus, can you show me just how far the east is from the west?
Cause I can't bear to see the man I've been
Rising up in me again
In the arms of your mercy I find rest
You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other
Just how far, the east is from the west, just how far
From one scarred hand to the other
You know just how far, the east is from the west, just how far
From one scarred hand to the other
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