Homophobia

We hear the term, and I think we all know what it means. Dictionary.com defines it as "irrational hatred or fear of homosexuals or homosexuality". The gay right/militants try to throw the label on anyone who disagrees with them and says their lifestyle is wrong, but that isn't the case.

Homophobia does exist, and may exist more than we want to admit in the church. There was a time that I honestly didn't care if my struggle got out, if it would end up helping someone else. A part of me feels like someday God may use my struggles to help others, but I still fear people knowing. There are several people who know of my struggles, and they seem to treat me the same, though no one seems to know how to address it, or talk about it, and I can't remember the last time someone who knew about it, did talk to me about it.

Something happened in my church a few months back to show me that homophobia lives on. Our Sunday School Class did a month on social issues, and one of the Sundays was on the issue of gay marriage. Of course the discussion went to homosexuality in general. One guy who spoke up several times kept using the word "pervert", and said he would rather his kids hang around a thief or prostitute than one of those "perverts". Another who spoke up several times had no sympathy, and made the statement that he wouldn't want his kids around one of "those". He also made some other derogatory remarks. (Side note, since that class happened, he was caught viewing pornography on the computer of the Christian organization where he worked, and resigned and has faced public disgrace.) I felt shredded and was fighting tears most of the class.

I had made a few comments about the marriage issue, and after church, the teacher came up and thanked me for my participation. Then said that he wouldn't want his boys around one of those kind of people, they are no different than child molesters or rapists. I went home feeling very differently about ever letting my struggles go public.

A few years ago, I worked with Setting Captives Free, and online ministry dealing with sexual issues and other. I took their course for those struggling with same sex desires. and later became a mentor - worked with other guys struggling via email and lessons they did. I found out that there are a lot of men in the church, married, and not married, who deal with this, and have no one to tell. They fear telling their pastor or anyone in the church, and is it any wonder?

Don't get me wrong. There are the militant gays out there who want to shove their lifestyle down your throat. They want to make it illegal to say their lifestyle is wrong. They want it taught in the schools, and promoted everywhere. But.......there are far more people who struggle with the issue - and many who live the lifestyle - who want to quietly live their life. The church tends to lump them all in with the militants. Yes, we need to fight against hate crime legislation and same sex marriage, but we also need to speak out with love for those who may be in our own church and family and are silently struggling, fearing if they are found out that they will be ostracized and branded a child molester.

Kirk Talley, a Southern Gospel singer who deals with this issue himself, told the following story, which just cut me to the heart when I heard it. A young man had attended this church and played his guitar in the praise band. One Wednesday night, he confided in the pastor about his struggle with homosexual desires. The pastor promised to pray for him. Sunday morning came. The young man was on the platform with the rest of the band. The pastor stepped up to the pulpit and told what the young man had told him, then turned to the young man and told him to get out of his church, that they didn't need his kind around there. That young man took his guitar, walked out and never returned.

How cruel, and horrible of that pastor. He should be horsewhipped and tarred and feathered. Is it any wonder the homosexuals think the church is hateful and intolerant? Is it any wonder our boys and men are silently struggling with this issue, and many will never confide in anyone, but will either silently struggle for most or all of their life, or leave the church and live the gay lifestyle?

Somewhere along the line, we have put degrees on sin. Homosexuality has been put up at the top of the worst sins, right under child molestation, and many Christians equate the two. Yet when God lists people who will not go to Heaven, the liar is right there with the homosexual.

There are sins that carry more of a stigma, and in this life, cause more damage. If you are going to commit a sin today, you are better off lying or coveting than killing someone, or committing adultery, but the church is supposed to be a place where sinners can come, and if we only want sinners with "respectable sins", then we aren't doing what God wants, and we may as well shut our doors. Jesus hung around with the lowest of society and the worse of sinners. There is no mention of homosexuals going to Jesus, and He never mentions the subject - maybe it wasn't an issue in Israel in His day, I don't know - but I do know that had they gone to Him, He would have loved them, and forgive them, just as He loves them and will forgive them today.

I would love to see the day that openly gay people could attend our services in our churches. Not that they would hear acceptance of their sin from the pulpit, but that they would feel welcome and loved, in spite of their sin.

Someone has said that the ground is level at Calvary, and the idea is that none of us are more special than others, and are equal at the cross. That also stands true of sin. At the foot of the cross, the person who has been a good moral person, is no better than the homosexual, the prostitute, or even the child molester.

It all boils down to love. No matter what the sin, we are to love as Christ loved - not the sin, but the person enslaved in it.