First off, thanks for the encouraging comment, DJ. Again, I appreciate your prayers and encouragement. I have read one of Francis Chan's books and was very impressed.
I'm at a weird place in my life. I have been reading so many books that are opening my eyes to how wrong I have had it, and are putting a desire in me to get it right the next time I attempt a relationship with God...... yet it seems so impossible to get past all of the crap and wrong ideas that has been my religion for so long.
Not only am I becoming aware of how wrong I have been about so much, I am just starting to realize how vast of an arsenal the devil has used against me, and still does. There are most likely many I am not aware of. My focus has been on the sexual all these years, and yes he uses that against me and it is a big temptation and struggle, but he has used so much more than sexual temptation, and very likely part of his plan has been to get me to focus on the gay stuff and attack on the sly with the other stuff.
An example..... I never cease to be amazed at how God uses Christian fiction to speak to me and get a point across to me. I don't know if it happens to other people as often, but it does to me. The latest was tonight. I was reading "Memory's Door" by James Rubart. It is the second in an awesome series. The focus of this book was how the devil uses religion and the rules of religion to enslave people, which I have been becoming more and more aware of, but there was also something else in the book that hit me. Due to what was happening with one of the characters, I realized how the devil has used regret to keep me in bondage....I won't belabor the point, but it hit me that it is just another weapon the devil has used against me.
There is a silver lining in all of this. Not only has the devil had me convinced that God didn't love me and didn't care about me, he also had me convinced at one point that I was so worthless that the devil didn't want me either...... sounds dumb, but believe me, I have been one messed up guy for way too long. Anyway, it hit me that if the devil has used all of these different things to discourage me and keep me in bondage, he must want badly to keep me from being where I should be with God. Maybe that sounds like an odd thing to find a silver lining in, but I did.
Speaking of James Rubart, whose book I referenced above, I highly recommend his books if you're wanting to read Christian fiction that will affect you and make you think. Rooms was his first book, and in it he uses a house that represents the heart. It shook me up and was much more than fluff. His newest effort is a series. There are two books so far and they deal a lot with spiritual warfare in a way that might seem far out, but are excellent books. I'd recommend any of his.
I also recently read "Radical" by David Platt, and again - wow. It was an amazing book and made me want to not just know God like I never have, but to accomplish something for Him with my life. Again, I highly recommend his and Kyle Idleman's books. They have the possibility to be life-changing books. In one way they are encouraging, but in another they are discouraging for me. I find myself wondering if I could ever have the kind of relationship with God that they talk about. I hope I can.
Since I am talking about books so much, I may as well mention another book I read this past week: Finding God In The Bible by Darren Wilson. That may sound like a weird idea for a book, but the idea of the book in a nutshell is to show how God wants a relationship with us, that He wants to be our friend. That was kind of heavy for me, given my poor views of God I have held all my life.
I am still reading at least a verse in the Bible each night and praying before I go to bed. Oddly, if I skip either, I feel guilty and I don't even consider myself a Christian, so not sure what's up with that. I do it to show God I am interested in pursuing Him, and to get in the habit of doing it, not that it should be just a habit.
Ironically, given the guilt I feel if I skip those, the gay stuff still has a hold on me. I still have sex with guys when I can, and porn is still a big addiction. To be honest, I don't want to quit, but know I should want to. That is one hold up in my not jumping in and trying for a relationship with God..... at this point, I want the gay stuff more. That sounds bad, but I made this blog so I could be honest. I also feel at this point if I did repent and try to live for God, I'd fall very easily and be back where I am, or worse. I want it to be real, and a genuine repentance, and not something I do to feel better or to make people happy. In the meantime, I am trying to learn more about the true character of God and put aside my wrong ideas. I am also praying and asking God to put a desire in me to change and want more to serve Him.
In other "news", I am in a much better frame of mind than I have been for a long time. I have a job I like, and though the day when I live on my own doesn't seem close, I am not down and depressed like I was. A friend of mine recently said I seem happier now than I had been, and I am. I am sure if I ever get this spiritual stuff straightened out, I will be even happier.
I am taking a vacation of sorts next week. I say of sorts, because I am not really doing much. I am driving 400 miles to visit my best friend and other friends I have in another state I lived in for a couple of years. It will be nice to see him and other friends, and it will be nice to just get away from here for a week, and I don't mean this in a mean way, but to get away from my parents for a week. I am really looking forward to it and have my days off approved. Since my official schedule is 4 days )32 hours), I only had to ask for 2 days off. There have been several weeks since I started that I have gotten more than that. One week, I had 56 hours..... that made for a nice check, having 16 hours of overtime. :-)
I have always loved Southern Gospel music, ever since I was a teenager. Even in my worst of times spiritually, secular music hasn't attracted me much. I like a handful of country songs, but it is something I rarely listen to. I listen to some CCM, and some Praise & Worship. Lately, I have really been drawn to P&W..... but I am picky about what I listen to. I love Kutless' worship CDs and Steve Green's, but can't get into the Hillsongs stuff and a lot of other, but I am slowly finding some other worship CDs I like..... SG is still my favorite, but the P&W music seems to be helping with my views of God, though that may sound weird. Maybe God figures I need more variety in what I listen to.....
For anyone who reads my blog, please pray that God puts a desire in me to change and to serve Him. There is a spark there, but it isn't strong enough. Thanks, I do appreciate any prayer sent up for me.
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Friday, August 2, 2013
August update
Things have been pretty decent lately. I was pretty depressed for a while, not sure why, though living with my parents has been getting to me lately more than usual, and I find myself wondering if I will ever be on my own again.
The job is going pretty good. I'm still part time, but have been getting some extra hours due to vacations. I get 32 hours normally, but have had a few weeks that I got 40, and this past week, I got 56... 16 hours of overtime. I had to work a few double shifts, which isn't fun. I actually got full time offered to me yesterday, but it would have been the 11pm-7am shift. I worked that my first 2 weeks to fill in for a guy on military leave, and hated it..... I didn't get enough sleep, and I don't like the guys on that shift as well, plus I prefer working when the hospital is open. I am hoping and praying a daylight shift opens up that is Tuesday-Saturday so I don't have to miss every Sunday morning at church......I'm actually missing it, and Sunday School.
I had quit praying and reading my Bible there for a while, but am back on that. I have read a few books lately that have really impacted and stirred me: Not a Fan and Gods at War, both by Kyle Idleman, and I am currently reading "Follow Me" by David Platt and have his other book "Radical" coming from Amazon. Although they are all different, they have made me long for what I have never had - a true relationship with God, passion, and truly knowing and following God. It seems to be a pet peeve of my best friend that I don't like to listen to sermons - nor audiobooks - and he has been trying to get me to listen to sermons by David Platt....... well, Kyle Idleman's books impressed me so much, that I downloaded some sermons of his as podcasts on ITunes...... I haven't listened to any of them yet, but I most likely will.
I guess you could say I am a seeker at this point. I am realizing how wrong I have had it all these years. Homosexuality aside - yes it is a big issue in my life, but not THE issue - I've had it so wrong with my religion. And that is what it has been. Religion. I'm sick of trying to be a Christian. I'm sick of being as much in bondage to religion as I am to homosexuality and porn. I want to serve and follow Jesus for the right reasons and be excited and passionate about it. I've never had excitement and passion.
But I'm not there yet. I feel if I came back to God, if I have ever been there in the first place, I'd fall too easily. I still have so many questions and doubts. I am still pulled so hard by homosexuality and porn...... it is going to be hard to give those up, and it may sound like an excuse, but summer is the hardest time for me...... when I am still working through the religious stuff, I would fall too easily.
I am praying that God would help me to get the right view of Him, and that I would want to serve Him. I don't feel I want to serve Him, to surrender everything bad enough yet. I'm praying that I get there. It is one thing to see where you have gone wrong. Its another thing to change so many years of wrong thinking, wrong views of God, wrong reasons for being a Christian.
In one of the books I just read, I think it was Follow Me by David Plattt, the author emphasized the fact about God being our Father and how much He loves us as His children. That part of the book had me in tears.... I long to believe that, instead of the way I have viewed Him all my life. I am sure there is more than one contributing factor, but never feeling like my dad loved me or approved of me most likely has played into that. I can't imagine my dad telling me he loves me, so how can I expect God as a father delighting in me and telling me He loves me...... I have so far to go.
I know just reading books isn't going to change me, but they are helping, and its an improvement for me to even read non-fiction books. It isn't something I do often, and I have read 3 in just the last week, and others in recent weeks.
And all of my reading has made me more convinced than ever that homosexuality isn't the issue. The issue is I have never had the right relationship with God..... and how can anyone battle a big issue like homosexuality without the right relationship with God? It is no wonder I have fallen so often and so easily.
The job is going pretty good. I'm still part time, but have been getting some extra hours due to vacations. I get 32 hours normally, but have had a few weeks that I got 40, and this past week, I got 56... 16 hours of overtime. I had to work a few double shifts, which isn't fun. I actually got full time offered to me yesterday, but it would have been the 11pm-7am shift. I worked that my first 2 weeks to fill in for a guy on military leave, and hated it..... I didn't get enough sleep, and I don't like the guys on that shift as well, plus I prefer working when the hospital is open. I am hoping and praying a daylight shift opens up that is Tuesday-Saturday so I don't have to miss every Sunday morning at church......I'm actually missing it, and Sunday School.
I had quit praying and reading my Bible there for a while, but am back on that. I have read a few books lately that have really impacted and stirred me: Not a Fan and Gods at War, both by Kyle Idleman, and I am currently reading "Follow Me" by David Platt and have his other book "Radical" coming from Amazon. Although they are all different, they have made me long for what I have never had - a true relationship with God, passion, and truly knowing and following God. It seems to be a pet peeve of my best friend that I don't like to listen to sermons - nor audiobooks - and he has been trying to get me to listen to sermons by David Platt....... well, Kyle Idleman's books impressed me so much, that I downloaded some sermons of his as podcasts on ITunes...... I haven't listened to any of them yet, but I most likely will.
I guess you could say I am a seeker at this point. I am realizing how wrong I have had it all these years. Homosexuality aside - yes it is a big issue in my life, but not THE issue - I've had it so wrong with my religion. And that is what it has been. Religion. I'm sick of trying to be a Christian. I'm sick of being as much in bondage to religion as I am to homosexuality and porn. I want to serve and follow Jesus for the right reasons and be excited and passionate about it. I've never had excitement and passion.
But I'm not there yet. I feel if I came back to God, if I have ever been there in the first place, I'd fall too easily. I still have so many questions and doubts. I am still pulled so hard by homosexuality and porn...... it is going to be hard to give those up, and it may sound like an excuse, but summer is the hardest time for me...... when I am still working through the religious stuff, I would fall too easily.
I am praying that God would help me to get the right view of Him, and that I would want to serve Him. I don't feel I want to serve Him, to surrender everything bad enough yet. I'm praying that I get there. It is one thing to see where you have gone wrong. Its another thing to change so many years of wrong thinking, wrong views of God, wrong reasons for being a Christian.
In one of the books I just read, I think it was Follow Me by David Plattt, the author emphasized the fact about God being our Father and how much He loves us as His children. That part of the book had me in tears.... I long to believe that, instead of the way I have viewed Him all my life. I am sure there is more than one contributing factor, but never feeling like my dad loved me or approved of me most likely has played into that. I can't imagine my dad telling me he loves me, so how can I expect God as a father delighting in me and telling me He loves me...... I have so far to go.
I know just reading books isn't going to change me, but they are helping, and its an improvement for me to even read non-fiction books. It isn't something I do often, and I have read 3 in just the last week, and others in recent weeks.
And all of my reading has made me more convinced than ever that homosexuality isn't the issue. The issue is I have never had the right relationship with God..... and how can anyone battle a big issue like homosexuality without the right relationship with God? It is no wonder I have fallen so often and so easily.
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Book recommendation: Gods At War by Kyle Idleman
This book doesn't have much to do with the gay struggle, but I am still recommending it: Gods At War by Kyle Idleman. Sex can be, and is an idol, but overall this is a great book anyone should read, whether you're struggling with homosexuality or notBook description:
In gods at war, Kyle Idleman, bestselling author of not a fan, helps every believer recognize there are false gods at war within each of us, and they battle for the place of glory and control in our lives. What keeps us from truly following Jesus is that our hearts are pursuing something or someone else. While these pursuits may not be the 'graven images' of old, they are in fact modern day idols. Behind the sin you're struggling with, the discouragement you're dealing with, the lack of purpose you're living with is a false god that is winning the war for your heart. According to Idleman, idolatry isn't an issue---it is the issue. By asking insightful questions, Idleman reveals which false gods each of us are allowing on the throne of our lives. What do you sacrifice for? What makes you mad? What do you worry about? Whose applause do you long for? We're all wired for worship, but we often end up valuing and honoring the idols of money, sex, food, romance, success and many others that keep us from the intimate relationship with God that we desire. Using true, powerful and honest testimonies of those who have struggled in each area, gods at war illustrates a clear path away from the heartache of our 21st century idolatry back to the heart of God -- enabling us to truly be completely committed followers of Jesus.
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
The Christian Life of a Gay Man
Another great post from Matt Moore. Link to original post here.
Earlier this week, my pastor and I met with a local guy in his 20’s who just turned away from homosexual behavior in pursuit of God. When chatting with him for a couple of hours, the thing I felt that I couldn’t emphasize enough is that the focus of the Christian life for the “gay” man is not about not acting out on homosexual feelings. It’s not about turning from the “gay lifestyle.”
A message I feel the Lord has been laying on my heart lately is that He is not to be used as a means to an end…. even if that end is a “good” thing. We don’t follow Jesus to become straight, or to get married, or to be content in celibacy. And we don’t follow Jesus with the intent of becoming free of the power of fallen sexual inclinations. I think that’s all a backwards (and joy-robbed) way of looking at the gospel. I think a more correct way to view the gospel is that we follow Jesus because He is Lord and He is worthy, and He sets us free from the power of sinful inclinations (including sinful sexual inclinations) so that we could and would garner all of our affections, passions, and energies and focus them in on Him in worship.
Turning from homosexual behavior is (a small part of) the means and God is the End, not the other way around. He enables us to turn from sin not so that we would just turn from sin, but so that we would turn from sin and turn to Him. I don’t believe (based on the Scriptures) that turning from sin just for the sake of delighting in a holy accomplishment is at all pleasing to God.
If you’re attracted to the same sex but you’ve chosen to follow Jesus in repentance and faith, don’t get all wrapped up in having “turned away from the gay lifestyle” or in having “left homosexuality” or in having “become an ex-gay” (I’m speaking as someone who made these mistakes). Jesus has reconciled you to God through His Cross not so you could be an ex-gay or whatever you choose to call it; He’s done it to make you a son of God. That is ultimately who and what you are. Because of His gracious work in your heart, you have taken up a life of putting your natural, sinful self to death—day by day— to walk in the benefits of the sonship that Jesus has purchased for you (like intimacy with God) and the purposes God has for you in this life (like proclaiming the gospel and making disciples).
Please don’t infer from my words that I’m dumbing down the importance and necessity of repentance, that definitely is not my goal. What I’m trying to do is to put repentance in it’s rightful place: as the means, not the end. We should turn from our sin with all our (grace-wrought) might—but not for the purpose of basing our identity and the focus of our lives on our disassociation from a particular sinful behavior. We should turn from our sin because of a deep love and thankfulness for Jesus, and to enjoy intimacy and fellowship with God through Him.
The Christian life of the gay man, just like the Christian life of the straight man, should have one main focus and one definite end: Jesus.
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
The woman at the well, and Lot's wife
There is a wide variety of characters in the Bible. Some were great, some were not. Some good, some bad..... I think the reason a lot of them are included is to give us hope. Not all of us are like Enoch or Elisha. Some of us are like David, who messed up a lot, yet was a man after God's own heart.
Lately, I have been identifying with a couple of women in the Bible. Neither is named, yet hold a prominent place in Scripture: The woman at the well, and Lot's wife.
From the short narrative in John, we get the idea that the woman at the well wasn't a good woman. She had had 5 husbands and was living with a guy she wasn't married to. She sounds like she wasn't a good moral person. Very likely, she had been with other men besides the six mentioned by Jesus. To top it off, she was a Samaritan. They were like the scum of the earth to Jews, yet here is Jesus, a Jew, talking to a Samaritan woman, and an immoral one at that. Yet Jesus talked to her, and it seems He deliberately went through Samaria to seek her out. Amazing.
I've got a long list of sexual conquests. Mine is most likely longer than hers, but if He'd forgive her immorality, why not mine? He doesn't have a limit on sins He will forgive, yet the devil has had me convinced for years that I had sinned too many times, that my sin was too bad to be completely forgiven.... but that isn't true. And He offers that same living water to me, yet I keep going back to the wells that don't satisfy. Is it because I have never plunged in completely? If He could rescue the woman at the well, He can rescue me.
Lot's wife.... they were told to not look back while fleeing Sodom, and was instantly turned to a pillar of salt. Jesus used her as a warning in the New Testament: "remember Lot's wife." Meaning what, exactly? It could be a warning about her being too attached to worldly possessions....
I was watching the Bible miniseries on DVD last night and watched the part about Sodom being destroyed, and something hit me, for the first time that I know of. I have lost track of how many times I have repented and quit the porn and sex, only to fall back. I think there is more than one reason, and I think the biggest one that overshadows all, is the fact that I have never had the right view of God, His love, nor did I love Him....... but this new thought hit me.... I also look back. I think about the pleasure that I gave up. I find myself thinking about all the gay guys that are out there engaging in pleasure, and there I am, alone and no pleasure.... I've done just like Lot's wife, and looked back...... and then I go back. If God did to me like Lot's wife, I'd have become a pillar of salt years ago, yet He has not cut me off....... thank God He hasn't. May God help me to truly find Him, and when I do, not look back for anything.
Lately, I have been identifying with a couple of women in the Bible. Neither is named, yet hold a prominent place in Scripture: The woman at the well, and Lot's wife.
From the short narrative in John, we get the idea that the woman at the well wasn't a good woman. She had had 5 husbands and was living with a guy she wasn't married to. She sounds like she wasn't a good moral person. Very likely, she had been with other men besides the six mentioned by Jesus. To top it off, she was a Samaritan. They were like the scum of the earth to Jews, yet here is Jesus, a Jew, talking to a Samaritan woman, and an immoral one at that. Yet Jesus talked to her, and it seems He deliberately went through Samaria to seek her out. Amazing.
I've got a long list of sexual conquests. Mine is most likely longer than hers, but if He'd forgive her immorality, why not mine? He doesn't have a limit on sins He will forgive, yet the devil has had me convinced for years that I had sinned too many times, that my sin was too bad to be completely forgiven.... but that isn't true. And He offers that same living water to me, yet I keep going back to the wells that don't satisfy. Is it because I have never plunged in completely? If He could rescue the woman at the well, He can rescue me.
Lot's wife.... they were told to not look back while fleeing Sodom, and was instantly turned to a pillar of salt. Jesus used her as a warning in the New Testament: "remember Lot's wife." Meaning what, exactly? It could be a warning about her being too attached to worldly possessions....
I was watching the Bible miniseries on DVD last night and watched the part about Sodom being destroyed, and something hit me, for the first time that I know of. I have lost track of how many times I have repented and quit the porn and sex, only to fall back. I think there is more than one reason, and I think the biggest one that overshadows all, is the fact that I have never had the right view of God, His love, nor did I love Him....... but this new thought hit me.... I also look back. I think about the pleasure that I gave up. I find myself thinking about all the gay guys that are out there engaging in pleasure, and there I am, alone and no pleasure.... I've done just like Lot's wife, and looked back...... and then I go back. If God did to me like Lot's wife, I'd have become a pillar of salt years ago, yet He has not cut me off....... thank God He hasn't. May God help me to truly find Him, and when I do, not look back for anything.
Friday, July 12, 2013
Loving the homosexual, a re-post
A friend of mine sent me message today that Moody was going to have a discussion about homosexuality on their Mid-day Connection program. It was going to be airing at a time I could listen, so I pulled it up on line and listened. And I liked what I heard. The show was hosted by two women, and they had two male guests on the show: Christopher Yuan, a man who lived the gay lifestyle for several years and spent time in prison and authored a book, Out of a Far Country, and a pastor - Bobby Ross (I think that was his name), a man who has not struggled with same-sex attractions, but had input on the issue.
The broadcast was not aimed at people who struggle with same-sex attractions, but aimed at Christians who come in contact with gay people.
The pastor, Bobby, told an interesting story. Back before he and his wife had kids, they decided to take a trip to New York City. A friend of his told him that his brother lived there and would be happy to help them find their way around and would most likely even map out an itinerary for them. His friend told him however, his brother was gay, and had a lover. The pastor and his wife decided to take the guy up on it.
They were met in New York City by the gay couple who was thrilled to show them around New York City. They both took off a day of work to help show the pastor and his wife around.
As the pastor and his wife had to leave on a 6:30 flight, the gay couple offered to let them stay with them their last night and take them to the airport. They cooked a great meal, and their friend's brother got up at 2:30 am to take them to the airport.
The gay guy later told his mother that if all Christians were like this pastor and his wife, that he would be more interested in coming back to church.
The rest of the broadcast was along the same line. Talking about how Christians need to love gay people, not accept their sin and say it is OK, but love them and befriend them.
Why do we make homosexuality such a terrible sin and seek to shun those who are gay? The same Bible condemns sex outside of marriage, but the same people who would shun gay people, have no problem with a man, woman, or heterosexual couple coming to their church who are living unmarried and engaging in sex outside of marriage.
The same people have no problem with the drunk or drug addict coming to church. Even the ex-con. But keep the gays out. Why is that?
Yes, the Bible condemns sex between two people of the same gender, but does that mean God doesn't love them? That Christians shouldn't love them? Christians can stand against gay marriage and say what gay people are doing sexually is wrong, but what chance does the average gay person have if Christians shun them and treat them terribly and with disdain? Christians are to be God's arms reaching out to the lost, and that lost includes the homosexual.
Only God knows how many boys, girls, men, and women are sitting in our church pews, silently struggling with same-sex attractions, and scared to death to talk to anyone about it, because of the way the church has treated it. No, the church should not say the sin is OK, but they need to change their attitude. They need to start reaching out to the gay people, and loving them.
Some Christians may fear it is contagious, that if they are around a gay person, that they will "catch it." A ludicrous idea, but I think some Christians have that idea. Another misconception many have, is that if a gay person is around their kids, they will molest them at the first chance. Oh, you're gay, so you like little boys. Oh, you're a heterosexual male, so you like little girls! If someone is reading this and does equate homosexuality with pedophilia, let me be blunt: I am gay, and am attracted to men. Fully developed, adult men. Not young boys. Men. And statistics show that more heterosexuals than homosexuals are child molesters.
There is a book every Christian should read. Loving Homosexuals As Jesus Would by Chad Thompson. Check out his website. Great book. Helpful for those who are struggling with same-sex attractions too. I think it was Chad who would go to gay pride parades and hand out bottled water to those participating in the parade. He either had a stand, or some way of letting them know he was a Christian. He gave no sermon, no message, just bottled water from a Christian.
Many Christians would recoil at that. Doing something nice for "those kind of people?! No way!"
It has been said that we are never more like Jesus, than when we love. And loving those easy to love and who we agree with, isn't cutting it. It is loving those who we don't agree with, the unlovable, those engaged in sins that we find disgusting.......
I've wondered what kind of reception I'd get at my own church if I came out, said I was gay, and lived that lifestyle. Several know of my struggles, and though most people who know at my church never talk about it with me, neither do they shun me or avoid me. I think if I did do that, some would treat me the same, and some would avoid me and shun me. I'd like to think that the second group would be small, but who knows.
I think there are some similarities between gay people and lepers in Jesus' time. The lepers were shunned and avoided. No one wanted to be around them. If a family member got it, their family kicked them out and avoided them. Sound familiar? That is what the church does with gay people. And there are many cases where parents - and they aren't always Christian parents - kick a son or daughter out of their house and lives when they find out they are gay. How sad. Is it any wonder so many suffer and struggle in silence?
In the Bible, there were cities of refuge. I won't go into a lot of detail, but they were cities where perpetrators of manslaughter could go for asylum. This may be a weird jump to make, but imagine if we were that as Christians. That we would be so known by our loving - even, and especially the homosexual, that they would feel free and without fear to come to us and confide their struggle.
The church has done, and is doing a lot of good. It also has done wrong and still does. And this is just one area, how it treats the homosexual. If we could get it right, if we could love and be a friend to all, even the homosexual, I can't help but think God would be pleased, and we would be much more like Jesus.
The broadcast was not aimed at people who struggle with same-sex attractions, but aimed at Christians who come in contact with gay people.
The pastor, Bobby, told an interesting story. Back before he and his wife had kids, they decided to take a trip to New York City. A friend of his told him that his brother lived there and would be happy to help them find their way around and would most likely even map out an itinerary for them. His friend told him however, his brother was gay, and had a lover. The pastor and his wife decided to take the guy up on it.
They were met in New York City by the gay couple who was thrilled to show them around New York City. They both took off a day of work to help show the pastor and his wife around.
As the pastor and his wife had to leave on a 6:30 flight, the gay couple offered to let them stay with them their last night and take them to the airport. They cooked a great meal, and their friend's brother got up at 2:30 am to take them to the airport.
The gay guy later told his mother that if all Christians were like this pastor and his wife, that he would be more interested in coming back to church.
The rest of the broadcast was along the same line. Talking about how Christians need to love gay people, not accept their sin and say it is OK, but love them and befriend them.
Why do we make homosexuality such a terrible sin and seek to shun those who are gay? The same Bible condemns sex outside of marriage, but the same people who would shun gay people, have no problem with a man, woman, or heterosexual couple coming to their church who are living unmarried and engaging in sex outside of marriage.
The same people have no problem with the drunk or drug addict coming to church. Even the ex-con. But keep the gays out. Why is that?
Yes, the Bible condemns sex between two people of the same gender, but does that mean God doesn't love them? That Christians shouldn't love them? Christians can stand against gay marriage and say what gay people are doing sexually is wrong, but what chance does the average gay person have if Christians shun them and treat them terribly and with disdain? Christians are to be God's arms reaching out to the lost, and that lost includes the homosexual.
Only God knows how many boys, girls, men, and women are sitting in our church pews, silently struggling with same-sex attractions, and scared to death to talk to anyone about it, because of the way the church has treated it. No, the church should not say the sin is OK, but they need to change their attitude. They need to start reaching out to the gay people, and loving them.
Some Christians may fear it is contagious, that if they are around a gay person, that they will "catch it." A ludicrous idea, but I think some Christians have that idea. Another misconception many have, is that if a gay person is around their kids, they will molest them at the first chance. Oh, you're gay, so you like little boys. Oh, you're a heterosexual male, so you like little girls! If someone is reading this and does equate homosexuality with pedophilia, let me be blunt: I am gay, and am attracted to men. Fully developed, adult men. Not young boys. Men. And statistics show that more heterosexuals than homosexuals are child molesters.
There is a book every Christian should read. Loving Homosexuals As Jesus Would by Chad Thompson. Check out his website. Great book. Helpful for those who are struggling with same-sex attractions too. I think it was Chad who would go to gay pride parades and hand out bottled water to those participating in the parade. He either had a stand, or some way of letting them know he was a Christian. He gave no sermon, no message, just bottled water from a Christian.
Many Christians would recoil at that. Doing something nice for "those kind of people?! No way!"
It has been said that we are never more like Jesus, than when we love. And loving those easy to love and who we agree with, isn't cutting it. It is loving those who we don't agree with, the unlovable, those engaged in sins that we find disgusting.......
I've wondered what kind of reception I'd get at my own church if I came out, said I was gay, and lived that lifestyle. Several know of my struggles, and though most people who know at my church never talk about it with me, neither do they shun me or avoid me. I think if I did do that, some would treat me the same, and some would avoid me and shun me. I'd like to think that the second group would be small, but who knows.
I think there are some similarities between gay people and lepers in Jesus' time. The lepers were shunned and avoided. No one wanted to be around them. If a family member got it, their family kicked them out and avoided them. Sound familiar? That is what the church does with gay people. And there are many cases where parents - and they aren't always Christian parents - kick a son or daughter out of their house and lives when they find out they are gay. How sad. Is it any wonder so many suffer and struggle in silence?
In the Bible, there were cities of refuge. I won't go into a lot of detail, but they were cities where perpetrators of manslaughter could go for asylum. This may be a weird jump to make, but imagine if we were that as Christians. That we would be so known by our loving - even, and especially the homosexual, that they would feel free and without fear to come to us and confide their struggle.
The church has done, and is doing a lot of good. It also has done wrong and still does. And this is just one area, how it treats the homosexual. If we could get it right, if we could love and be a friend to all, even the homosexual, I can't help but think God would be pleased, and we would be much more like Jesus.
The day my parents found out I was gay
I recently shared an excellent article written by someone else about what to do if your child tells you that they are gay. It brought back to my mind how my parents reacted. It has been around 16 years ago, but I'll never forget. In many ways, that was the day a wall went up between my parents and I that may never come down.
I had been talking to my pastor about my struggles some, though it was over his head, and he wasn't as involved in helping as my current pastor has been. He had asked me at one point if I thought my parents had any suspicions that I struggled in that area, and I had said no. He wanted to talk to me one evening before the Sunday pm service and asked me again. Again, I said "no". To my shock and horror, he informed me that they had found out. Probably all that kept it from being a total disaster, was my parents had gone to my pastor and his wife instead of approaching me directly. He then called them into his study. I try to block it all out, but I do remember my mom asking me who I'd told and demanding that I never tell anyone else. They all prayed, and the next service we were in that had an altar call, my mom literally dragged me to the altar. I was furious and made no effort at all to pray. I got up from the altar determined to be more careful and cover my tracks more.
The aftermath wasn't pleasant. My mom asked if I'd had sex with any guys, and insisted I get tested for HIV. I couldn't go anywhere without having to tell where I went and why. I would get regular lectures and demands put on me about what I would and would not do. I was 28, but they treated me like I was 10. The more they lectured and the more restrictive they got, the angrier I got.
To this day, I get almost a sense of satisfaction from hooking up for sex with guys without them knowing. It sounds horrible to admit it, but it is true. I became a master of deception when it came to my secret lifestyle. In fact, the amount of guys I have been with is much, much higher since they found out, then before they found out. At that point, I may have been with around 20 guys at the most. Now, I have no idea, but would guess at least 300..... so their rigidity, demands, and efforts to track my every move did nothing than make me bitter and create high walls between them and I. I was convinced they cared more about people finding out, then actually caring about me and what caused my struggles. Sixteen years hasn't changed that belief, but cemented the fact that they will only love their idea of me, not the real me.
My family is strange. We are close in some ways. We have fun together and get along great, no fighting among siblings, and stuff that goes on in some families, but I never felt I could talk to my parents about anything. I do remember my dad saying if I had told him about my struggles, he would have done all he could to stop me..... well, I would never have been able to tell them. And I have never been able to talk about it even since they found out. Once the lectures faded away, the topic was thrown in a closet and locked, never to see the light of day again.
I wish I could talk to my parents about it, but it isn't going to happen. I'd like to tell them the more they hold on, the harder it is for me to feel like a man and break free from these struggles. I'd like to tell them how well I did while living 400 miles away with my best friend, something they fought and made me feel so guilty, I moved back.
My mom would be horrified if she knew how many people knew about my struggles. I'm not even sure how many people know. I've become much freer in telling people, plus there are people who know that I don't know of.....just recently found out a friend from church knew before he even met me, and he doesn't remember how he found out......which is kind of scary, but then I'm at the point I don't really care who knows.
Had I grown up feeling more loved and accepted by my parents, I may have felt more free to talk to them about this stuff, but I didn't. As my youngest sister told me recently, she always felt she had to act in a certain way, achieve a certain level in everything she did to make them accept and love her... so it wasn't just me. Of course, had I felt more loved and accepted, maybe the same sex attraction wouldn't have been an issue, or as much of an issue.
There are people who have had it worse than I did. Teenagers kicked out of their home when their parents found out they were gay, or beaten by their fathers for being gay. Parents will never get it right in handling the issue, until the church gets it right. The answer is not total acceptance of homosexuality and letting people think its OK with God. The answer is to still call sin a sin, but to show more love toward the sinner and not shun them or make them feel they are subhuman and beyond God's grace because they are gay.
I had been talking to my pastor about my struggles some, though it was over his head, and he wasn't as involved in helping as my current pastor has been. He had asked me at one point if I thought my parents had any suspicions that I struggled in that area, and I had said no. He wanted to talk to me one evening before the Sunday pm service and asked me again. Again, I said "no". To my shock and horror, he informed me that they had found out. Probably all that kept it from being a total disaster, was my parents had gone to my pastor and his wife instead of approaching me directly. He then called them into his study. I try to block it all out, but I do remember my mom asking me who I'd told and demanding that I never tell anyone else. They all prayed, and the next service we were in that had an altar call, my mom literally dragged me to the altar. I was furious and made no effort at all to pray. I got up from the altar determined to be more careful and cover my tracks more.
The aftermath wasn't pleasant. My mom asked if I'd had sex with any guys, and insisted I get tested for HIV. I couldn't go anywhere without having to tell where I went and why. I would get regular lectures and demands put on me about what I would and would not do. I was 28, but they treated me like I was 10. The more they lectured and the more restrictive they got, the angrier I got.
To this day, I get almost a sense of satisfaction from hooking up for sex with guys without them knowing. It sounds horrible to admit it, but it is true. I became a master of deception when it came to my secret lifestyle. In fact, the amount of guys I have been with is much, much higher since they found out, then before they found out. At that point, I may have been with around 20 guys at the most. Now, I have no idea, but would guess at least 300..... so their rigidity, demands, and efforts to track my every move did nothing than make me bitter and create high walls between them and I. I was convinced they cared more about people finding out, then actually caring about me and what caused my struggles. Sixteen years hasn't changed that belief, but cemented the fact that they will only love their idea of me, not the real me.
My family is strange. We are close in some ways. We have fun together and get along great, no fighting among siblings, and stuff that goes on in some families, but I never felt I could talk to my parents about anything. I do remember my dad saying if I had told him about my struggles, he would have done all he could to stop me..... well, I would never have been able to tell them. And I have never been able to talk about it even since they found out. Once the lectures faded away, the topic was thrown in a closet and locked, never to see the light of day again.
I wish I could talk to my parents about it, but it isn't going to happen. I'd like to tell them the more they hold on, the harder it is for me to feel like a man and break free from these struggles. I'd like to tell them how well I did while living 400 miles away with my best friend, something they fought and made me feel so guilty, I moved back.
My mom would be horrified if she knew how many people knew about my struggles. I'm not even sure how many people know. I've become much freer in telling people, plus there are people who know that I don't know of.....just recently found out a friend from church knew before he even met me, and he doesn't remember how he found out......which is kind of scary, but then I'm at the point I don't really care who knows.
Had I grown up feeling more loved and accepted by my parents, I may have felt more free to talk to them about this stuff, but I didn't. As my youngest sister told me recently, she always felt she had to act in a certain way, achieve a certain level in everything she did to make them accept and love her... so it wasn't just me. Of course, had I felt more loved and accepted, maybe the same sex attraction wouldn't have been an issue, or as much of an issue.
There are people who have had it worse than I did. Teenagers kicked out of their home when their parents found out they were gay, or beaten by their fathers for being gay. Parents will never get it right in handling the issue, until the church gets it right. The answer is not total acceptance of homosexuality and letting people think its OK with God. The answer is to still call sin a sin, but to show more love toward the sinner and not shun them or make them feel they are subhuman and beyond God's grace because they are gay.
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