Toby Mac and his memes

  I am not a fan of Toby Mac's music, my music tastes run more to more traditional music, but I started following his Facebook page several months back due to the encouraging memes he posts. Here is a handful of them:

Satisfaction guranteed

  I read a book recently that I wanted to mention on here, Satisfaction Guaranteed by Jonathan Berry and Rob Wood. The book is mostly written by Berry, a man in his late 40's or so, with some input from his friend Rob Wood, a 20's guy. Both men are single and deal with same-sex attraction.

 The aim of the book is to show that you can be single and satisfied while also being celibate, and I thought they did a great job of doing that. Too often the focus and goal of we who are attracted to the wrong sex is to turn straight and marry someone of the opposite sex and live happily ever after..... and that not only doesn't always work, but it shouldn't be what we are aiming for.

 Without discounting marriage, the book shows that it is possible to be single and satisfied as a Christian dealing with SSA.

  Both authors write regularly on their blog/site Satisfied In Christ.

Excerpts from the book below:


Chapter 1. Craving counterfeit gods

God was coming good at last. Making up for the loss of Dad, I convinced myself, by providing what I’d always longed for. Making up for all the unrequited love of my school days too. Here was a best friend and lover, someone to share my whole life with, someone to take away that sense of aloneness in this world. Jean-Luc was God’s gift to me. And I even found plenty of Bible verses to back up my conviction.

Chapter 4. Did God really say…?

So the context of Leviticus 18:22 is clear. God’s redeemed people – rescued out of Egypt in the case of the Israelites, and out of the dominion of darkness in the case of Christians – are to have a distinctively different sexual ethic from that of the surrounding culture: ‘You shall not do as they do…Do not follow their practices. You must obey my laws and be careful to follow my decrees.’ God’s people are called to stand out from the culture in our sexual behavior, rather than allow ourselves to be swept along by it.

Chapter 5. Everything you need?

As I grew up out of my childlike faith, sadly, my God seemed to shrink. Sex was everywhere: friends were talking about it, advertisers were shamelessly using it to sell products, and I was facing a constant barrage of images that were making it seemingly impossible to avoid. I had always believed that God created the good gift of sex to be enjoyed exclusively within heterosexual marriage, but I was being fed a lie that I needed to have sex to be happy. In a culture where sex had become a god, was the one true God powerful enough to provide for me if I pursued a life of celibacy? Was it possible to be satisfied in Christ without a sexual relationship?

On those occasions when I gave in to sexual temptation and entered a brief relationship, I evidently didn’t believe that God was powerful enough to provide for me, and wasn’t convinced that the love of Christ was sufficient to satisfy my deepest longings and that he was the source of genuine delight. I gave in to that ancient temptation and believed the lie that the Lord was withholding from me something good, pleasing and desirable.

Chapter 6. Gripped by grace

John travelled to Africa’s west coast. He paid for his cargo as normal, then sailed off to the Caribbean. His cargo was people, and their conditions were horrific, for the year was 1750. The number who would have died on John’s business trips is unknown. But what we do know is that this same man later went on to denounce the slave trade as a result of his faith in Jesus Christ. But after years as a people trafficker, could he ever be confident of his standing before God? John Newton wrote the now-famous words which suggest he had every confidence that he was now in the right with his Maker:

Amazing grace! How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

Chapter 10. Pursuing intimacy with God

Mike wakes up in the morning, prays and reads his Bible, but Jesus isn’t physically in front of him. At church he worships the ‘King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God’ (1 Timothy 1:17), but he can’t physically see this eternal King who’s invisible – because, well, he’s invisible. By contrast, on an average day Mike sees many attractive men. And although he does his best to look away and not lust, it doesn’t stop him from craving intimacy.

‘I’m at that age where most of my friends are married. They have someone to share their whole life with. They can be physically close. And yes, I know I can enjoy intimate friendship with God. But God can’t hug me.’ Mike’s temptation is to pursue physical and emotional intimacy with attractive men whom he can see. But he tries to resist this in obedience to the God he can’t see. I get it. I share the same struggle. At root, it’s a question of faith.

Chapter 13. The future of marriage

‘I face all the same challenges as other married people,’ explained Ethan. ‘My same-sex temptations are just one issue that Liz and I are working through together. And it’s not even close to being the main area of struggle for me. To be honest, having a joint bank account has been a far greater challenge.’

My hospitality enablers, Domino’s, had just delivered dinner, saving my culinary blushes. Ethan and I were having a first proper catch-up since his wedding day just over a year ago. I was interested to know how things were going, and how I could be praying for him and his wife. And in particular, I wondered how he was coping with his ongoing same-sex desires.

These excerpts are taken from ‘Satisfaction Guaranteed’ by Jonathan Berry with Rob Wood, published by Inter-Varsity Press, London 2016. Used by permission.

As far as the east is from the west

   I have a friend who I'll call John. Since this is an anonymous blog where I have given myself the name Luke, I may as well stick with that anonymity and give him an alias also.

  "John" and I have been friends for around 12 years, though we have never met. He lives several states away from me, but hopefully we can meet some day. We met in a Christian Yahoo chat room at a low time in his life. He was dealing with same-sex attractions and had given in, and somehow we crossed paths in this chat room. At the time, I was in one of my "up-times" where I was abstaining from sex and porn and actually living for God, and according to him I was a big help. Due to social media, especially Facebook and cell phones, we have been been able to get to know each other even better in recent years and keep in daily contact.

  John has messaged me a few times this week about his one and only fall into immorality. It has been 12 years, but he has recently been hit with a lot of pain and guilt over his actions, and has been hitting me up on how to deal with it. I tried to come up with the right words, and I hope I was a help, but his situation has resulted in this blog post where I hope I can get across what I want to say.

   The Bible says God forgives our sins as far as the east is from the west. Someone has said the reason north and south wasn't used, is if you keep going south far enough, you'll start going north.... and vice versa. However, that doesn't happen with east and west. I assume that is true, and brings home the truth that our sins are gone forever and cannot be found.

  God doesn't bring up our sins that He has forgiven. He doesn't even berate us if we fall to them again. That "you are such a failure, aren't you ever going to stop doing that", etc comes from the devil, not God. God hasn't brought my friend's sin from 12 years ago up, the devil has brought it up and is doing his best to mess with my friend.

   John sinned with one guy. I sinned with so many that I can only put a ballpark figure on how many it may have been. I often feel regret over how I spent so much of my life, but as far as I went and as deep into sin I went, I don't really struggle too much with my past the way my friend has been lately though.

   These last three years have been the best years of my life in regards to God and my relationship with Him. I still struggle with depression and feelings of failure, but I have come to see the reality of God's love for me, and the realization that His mercy and grace are far greater and long lasting than I ever could imagine. We humans tend to remember transgressions against us, and though we may forgive, we may never trust that person again....especially if they are a repeat offender. Yet God, who knows all we have done and ever will do.....even that we are going to sin in that area again, forgives us without hesitation. And when He forgives, He doesn't sigh and remind us of how many times He has already forgiven us for that same sin,

  So my friend needs to do the same thing with his sin that God has done: leave it in the past, and let it go. When the devil brings it up, remind him that it is forgiven and that he is not that same man anymore. And then thank God for forgiveness and His love, grace, and mercy.

Here I am lord and I'm drowning
In your sea of forgetfulness
The chains of yesterday surround me
I yearn for peace and rest
I don't want to end up where you found me
And it echoes in my mind
Keeps me awake tonight

I know you've cast my sin as far
As the east is from the west
And I stand before you now
As though I've never sinned
But today I feel like I'm just one mistake away
From you leaving me this way

Jesus, can you show me just how far the east is from the west?
Cause I can't bear to see the man I've been
Rising up in me again
In the arms of your mercy I find rest
You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other

I start the day, the war begins
Endless reminding of my sin
And time and time again
Your truth is drowned out by the storm I'm in
Today I feel like I'm just one mistake away
From you leaving me this way

Jesus, can you show me just how far the east is from the west?
Cause I can't bear to see the man I've been
Rising up in me again
In the arms of your mercy I find rest
You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other

I know you've washed me white
Turned my darkness into light
I need your peace to get me through
To get me through this night

I can't live by what I feel
About the truth your word reveals
And I'm not holding onto you
But you're holding onto me
You're holding onto me

Jesus, can you show me just how far the east is from the west?
Cause I can't bear to see the man I've been
Rising up in me again
In the arms of your mercy I find rest
You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other

Just how far, the east is from the west, just how far
From one scarred hand to the other
You know just how far, the east is from the west, just how far
From one scarred hand to the other

The sins of homosexuality

 

 I accepted the fact years ago that homosexuality is a sin and that I cannot live a life pleasing to God and make it to Heaven if I engage in that sin. Too many people twist and ignore Scripture to excuse this one sin of many, but I have recently been thinking about the other sins of homosexuality. Yes, sins plural. Even if you toss out what the Bible says about homosexuality, there are other sins attached to it that you cannot toss out unless you also toss them out for heterosexuals:

1) Lust. Lust is not confined to heterosexuals. Gay people also lust just as much or more as heterosexuals, and the Bible condemns lust.

2) Pride. The Bible condemns the sin of pride more than sexual sins, and maybe even more than other sins throughout the Bible. One doesn't have to look very far to see the gay community is based on pride. Pride of body, out and proud, gay pride parades...... if pride is as bad of a sin as the Bible says it is, then it is a sin that runs rampant in the gay community.

3) Idolatry. Worship of the male body is very prevalent and a big part of the gay male scene. Many gay guys are looking for sex and want guys who have the perfect bodies. Personality and character are often not what they are looking for, but instead looks. Gay guys are obsessed with the male body.

And also, putting one's sexual desires above God is breaking the commandment of not having any gods before Him, for it is setting one's own desires and sexuality more important than God Himself.

4) Envy. Envy is rooted deeply in same-sex attraction, or vice-versa. Gay guys see what they want to be in other guys and want it. Guys who are hairy envy those who are smooth. Smooth guys envy those who are hairy. Bigger built guys envy smaller ones, guys envy penis size,  and so forth. They envy other guys' boyfriends and all things about other guys.

5) Fornication. Unless you also toss out every verse the Bible has about sexual sin and fornication - which is all sex outside of marriage - then the majority of gay people are guilty of that sin regardless of what you believe about homosexuality.... for there is a small minority of gay people who marry.....the rest of the sexually active ones are committing fornication....which is a sin.

6) Adultery. I was amazed and shocked at the amount of married guys who are out there on gay hook up sites and apps, in adult bookstores looking for sex with other guys, and even gay bath houses. Jesus Himself condemned adultery in the Gospels, and yes,,,, that includes a married guy having sex with another guy.

 And....if you're going to accept gay marriage, then any gay married couple who has in a third or more for fun, or who cheats on each other, is guilty of adultery....... and it happens. Monogamy is even rarer among gay people than heterosexuals.

7) Greed. Go in a gay bar, a gay bath house. or anywhere else where there are several gay men. Then wait until a hot young guy walks in. Guys will be all over him like flies on honey.

8) Gluttony. It is an inconvenient truth, but gay guys are much more promiscuous than their heterosexual counterparts.....they have sex often and with multiple partners. It is misconception that gluttony refers to overeating, but it refers to excess...... and you will find a lot of excess in the gay community.

 
  There are other sins associated with homosexuality, such as disobedience/not keeping God's laws, but this is a list of sins that are associated with it if you are trying to say homosexuality is a sin. I believe it is nearly impossible - actually it is impossible - to live in homosexuality/gay lifestyle and not be guilty of some or most of these sins. So if you're going to toss out what the Bible says about homosexuality, you are going to have to toss these out also.

Fighting against the cure

    Imagine there are people all around you with a deadly disease that will kill them. You yourself had that disease , but found the one cure for it. The regimen to be cured wasn't easy, and at times you felt like calling it quits and just letting the disease take over your body until you did die.....but you kept at it, did everything the doctors told you, and now you are cured from the disease.

  You are excited about the cure and try to tell others about it, but many of them don't want to hear it or even admit they are sick. They call you hateful and bigoted for daring to say they are sick. Even worse, people that aren't sick attack you for daring to offer a cure to those who are sick and also call you hateful and bigoted. The sick are all around you, but people try to shut down anyone who dares point out the dangers of the disease and that there is indeed a cure.

  Sound absurd? Of course it does, but replace sickness in my little "parable" with homosexuality, and that scenario is exactly what is happening.

  I have read all of the arguments, and believe 100% that the Bible does indeed call homosexuality a sin and says that those who engage in it will go to hell... along with liars, murderers, thieves, and any other sins.

  And yet it is becoming increasingly popular for Christians to bypass, ignore, twist, or "re-interpret" those verses to make homosexuality not a sin.

  These same Christians would offer hope of change to a drug addict, alcoholic, porn addict (maybe, it is possible they are OK with porn also), or any other sin.... but when it comes to this one sin, they don't believe the person has any need to repent and should continue in that life and claim to be a Christian. They refuse to admit  there is a cure for homosexuality, and refuse to offer hope to them that God can truly change them and they can be set free from homosexuality.

  Is that really love? How could any intelligent, compassionate, and true Christian ignore the facts? How could they know what goes on with the majority of gay people, and deny that it is bondage, sinful, and people are truly not free living that life? How can they hate those who offer hope of freedom from that?

   I know a lot about this issue. I have read a lot, seen a lot, experienced a lot, talked to a lot of guys in that lifestyle and who have left it. I don't claim to be an expert at much, but I would wager I have more insight and more inside information on what it is really like to have same-sex attractions, and what it is like to act out on them than the non-gay people arguing for homosexuality/

  And I believe without a shadow of a doubt that it is wrong, that it is dangerous to the health and emotions, and no one can ever be at peace and find happiness and satisfaction engaging in it. Homosexuality is just like any other sin: it is bondage, not freedom. I have posted about the dangers of homosexuality before, but let me re-cap a few points:

1) Gay people - especially men - are much more promiscuous than heterosexual men. Monogamy is rare, and almost impossible.... and likely impossible.

2) Gay men are at a much higher risk of HIV, AIDS, and other STDs.

3) Gay men typically have a shorter average life span than heterosexual males.

4) Gay men have more emotional and mental issues than heterosexual men.

    The gay lifestyle is so shallow. Looks are everything, and there is an idolization of the male body even more than in heterosexual circles. Young boys that are legal - and often times not legal - are like raw meat in front of dogs when they walk into a gay bar or some other venue where gay men are at. They get used and tossed aside even more often and at a faster rate than young girls do.... and yet our Christian pro-gay friends would encourage young boys (and girls) to embrace their sexuality and live the gay life. Is that really love?

  Freedom is possible for those with same-sex attractions. No, it isn't easy, but being a Christian isn't supposed to be easy. Kicking alcoholism, drug addiction, porn addiction, and other habitual sins is not easy.... but we don't urge those people to just go with their sin/habit.....yet we do so with gay people. We have picked this one sin to say it isn't a sin and refuse to offer the hope of freedom from it to those mired in it.

  True happiness and satisfaction is only found in repenting of and forsaking your sin, and following Jesus wholeheartedly. Homosexuality does not get a special pass, and must be laid aside to follow Jesus along with any other sin.

  I am thankful for those who walked this road before me and are out there telling their stories. These who have walked away from homosexuality and show that true freedom IS possible in Jesus.

 If Christians truly love gay people, they will offer them that same hope - that Jesus can deliver them from homosexuality and they don't have to stay in that sin. That is what loving gay people truly looks like - offering the cure, not denying there is one or any need for one.

Affirming people to hell, re-post and updated

 

   There is a move on to bridge the gap between the church and gay people. I have run across several blogs/people lately where they are advocating loving gay people more, and reaching out to them more in love as a church and Christians. This is not an exhaustive list, but here are a few of them:

Spiritual friendship
The Tethered Soul
A Joyful Stammering
The Marin Foundation
Love Is An Orientation
Redemption Pictures

   And there are more. And it is needed. Hey, I deal with same-sex attractions and wish more people had  reached out and loved me -  not accepted my sin, but loved me..... and I still wish more people would get involved in my life enough to help in this area. The church has really done a terrible job with homosexuality. People shouldn't have to hide their struggles in church, but too many do. I did for years, and only this year did I finally stop caring and "outted" myself. One of the blogs I referenced above has a great blog post about having to hide here.

   I am definitely not arguing against what they want to do, but I worry some are taking it too far. Micah Murray who runs the blog, Redemption Pictures, goes overboard in my opinion. He seems to believe Christians should just step aside and let the militant gays force them to bake cakes for gay weddings, photograph gay weddings, etc..... his blog isn't about gay struggles, as he is straight, but he does blog a lot about loving gay people more.... I just worry he goes too far, as others may. There IS a gay agenda out there, and if they get their way, it would be a hate crime to say homosexuality is wrong. Ministers could be forced to perform gay marriages.... it has happened in other countries..... I think Micah would vote for gay marriage if given a chance, just to show he loves them.

   That aside, here is the point I am getting to: I fear if people go too far with this loving and accepting gay people, they may affirm them right into hell. The Bible definitely says homosexuality is a sin, and homosexuals are listed among those who will go to hell (not for being gay, but for living in sin and not repenting). I agree no one needs to beat gay people over the head day after day telling them they are a sinner, but if people affirm them in such a way as to pat them on the back and tell them they are fine the way they are.......those loving people could help send them to hell.

   If the gay person is a "gay Christian". as in having sex and a relationship with another person of the same sex, and they are affirmed and never confronted in any way, what favor is the loving person doing them? If a Christian never offers the hope in Jesus of walking away from homosexuality, how on earth is that loving people? And believe me, there are multitudes of gay people unhappy and miserable in their sin.... and the ones who say they are not, are just good liars.

  Everyone needs to be loved and accepted as a person, but we don't affirm others living in sin and claiming to be a Christian.

We don't affirm the drug addict and not encourage change and repentance

We don't affirm the thief and not encourage change and repentance

We don't affirm the prostitute and not encourage change and repentance

   I firmly believe a Christian cannot live the gay lifestyle, as in engage in sex with the same gender, and anyone who is doing so should not be affirmed as a Christian..... but the same should be said with other sins. Heterosexual sex outside of marriage is still a sin, and people doing it should not be accepted and affirmed as Christians.

  There is a line that shouldn't be crossed, and I'm not sure where the line is and all there is to know about it, but we are called to carry the Gospel to everyone..... yes, we are to love everyone, but if we are constantly rubbing shoulders with people living in sin and allow them to think they are OK in that sin, we are not being their friend, and they may curse us some day when they stand before God and are condemned to hell for living a sinful life.

   Micah Murray and others seem to feel gay people don't need to be told they are wrong and sinning, just loved. I believe there must be a mix. People trying to love gays should never compromise and let the gay people think their sin is OK with God and that it isn't a sin. It is. How that is all worked out, I don't know, and I'd love to have a real discussion about it with someone who is trying to love gay people but not ever address the sin.

  Maybe I have done a terrible job of getting my point across, but I think the concern needs to be raised. Everyone needs to be loved and accepted as a person, but no one should have their sin ignored and excused.

What does freedom look like?

  **After I typed this up, a woman on a Facebook group page I am on claimed that I was not delivered from homosexuality.... so this is not in reply to her, but something I wrote before she said that.
 What does freedom look like? I spent many years hooking up with other guys for sex, chatting in gay chat-rooms, spending time on gay hookup sites and apps, hours spent viewing pornography, and hours spent thinking about sex with guys and pursuing sex with guys......and a lot of money wasted on the pursuit of sex and pleasure.

   Then in December of 2013, I had the long awaited breakthrough. I am sure there were other contributing factors, but after a lifetime of not believing God loved me - or even liked me - I finally came face to face with the reality and belief that He does indeed love me more than I could ever imagine or grasp. It made an immediate difference in my life. I went from trying to serve God and do right so I could escape hell, to wanting to serve God because He loves me.

    Almost overnight, my desires and attractions started to abate. The constant temptation and desire to hook up started going away, until it is so rare and slight, it is barely a ripple. Porn is still a battle, but it is losing the hold it held on me for so long. I am still attracted to other guys and struggle not to compare myself with them, but the constant war going on inside of me is gone. I may always be attracted to men and have the wish and desire for someone to love, but God has broken the hold it had on me and shattered the chains that held me tightly all of those years. My sexuality no longer rules and controls me.

  There are many who would scoff at the idea of me being free from homosexuality. The fact that I am still attracted to other men would be proof to them that I am not free. Sadly many Christians would agree with that sentiment.

  But what does true freedom look like? Is it freedom to have all attractions and desires for other men wiped completely away and be turned into a heterosexual? I would simply be trading sexuality to be tempted by. I would then battle lusting after women instead of men.

  Could freedom possibly be the breaking of a hold sin has on a person, and grace to say no to the temptations and desires?

The alcoholic saved from alcoholism will most likely be tempted many times in his life to drink.

The drug addict saved from his addiction will face temptations and desires to do the drugs he did for so long.

The porn addict saved from pornography will still be tempted many times to go back to porn.

The gay man saved from homosexuality will likely always be attracted to other guys and may or may not be able to marry a woman and make it work... but will still be attracted to and desire other guys.

The gambler may be saved from his addiction, but will often be tempted to do it again.

  So are these people free, or not free?

  My best friend's father came up with an interesting theory that may or may not hold water. He pointed out how some people are instantly delivered from sinful habits to never have the desire and temptation for them again, and yet others battle the temptation and desires for the rest of their life. What if the former are people God knows can't handle the battle and temptations of their former habit/life, while the latter He knows will be strengthened by the struggle and desires?

  It is an interesting theory. And I do believe I have been made stronger by still having these temptations and struggles and not giving in to them.

  And I have come to believe that true freedom is God making a person strong enough and giving enough grace that they can say no to the temptations and desires instead of giving in. Is it any less a miracle or deliverance for God to break the hold a sin has on a person and make them strong enough to withstand the temptation, than it would be for Him to remove all temptation and desire for it? Is it possible that the greater miracle and freedom comes when a person still has the desires and temptations but is able to serve God and not give in because of God's grace and strength He provides?

  The Bible says we will be tempted. Being a Christian doesn't mean an absence of temptation, but a guarantee that we will be tempted. And the devil is not going to tempt us in areas that aren't an issue with us, but in the areas where it is an issue and something we struggle with. That is life for a Christian. But we serve a God who is able to help us say no to any temptation or desire, even ones that ruled our lives for years.

  True freedom is not the absence of temptation or desire for a sin, but is the breaking of the hold it has on a person and the grace to not give into those temptations and desires. So yes, I am free indeed.