My reply to John (cornellcrawford) part 4

cornellcrawford said...
Part four:
This cannot happen overnight, but it can happen by taking small steps. Read, and most importantly, discuss. Find a church that is fully inclusive (gay accepting). Talk with ministers who have received their education from accredited, reputable institutions, not "Bible Colleges." Those places are the fast food of academia. Cheap and malnutritious. Talk with gay priests (my partner is a priest!). Talk with other men and women who are struggling, yet don't poison themselves with self-hatred. There is nothing sinful about positive thinking--surround yourself with people who think positively and love you for who you are--completely for who you are! See a therapist. I'm not sure how old you are, but don't waste any more of your life hating God and hating yourself. There is hope and forgiveness and love. Remember, you must be like a child to enter the kingdom--open, trusting, loving, curious, questioning, and most important--possess the instinct that when you fall down, you get back up.

I would love to hear your thoughts about this. It's a dialogue that isn't satisfied in one long post. Please feel free to email me. I wish you the very, very best. And, knowing your honest and painful struggle, I wish you were nearby, so we could be friends.

Best regards,
John

My reply:
I do thank you for your comments, and though I have no idea where you live - nor you where I live, I would be your friend. I'm not mad at what you said, you were very kind, though I disagree with most of it, and I do hope I have been as kind in my reply. If not, please forgive me.

I cannot endanger my soul by seeking out those who will approve of homosexuality and assure me that what I see in black and white is not true - but it was a kind suggestion, not meant to be mean - I know that.

I have read a lot about this issue - people who have been in the lifestyle and left it. I have attended an Exodus Conference, and was pleasantly surprised - you would be too - they are just trying to help people, and aren't evil and hateful - and do not throw out a magic cure - but that is beside the point. What I am trying to say is I might not be the smartest guy in the world, but this is something I have read a lot about, prayed a lot about, agonized a lot about - and believe beyond a shout of a doubt that it is wrong.

My current issues and struggles are not all about being gay - that enters into it of course. I am lonely, but having sex with countless anonymous males is not the answer, and that is where homosexuality has always taken me.

Anyway, if you read my replies, I thank you again, and am open to more dialogue, but I would say ahead of time that I could never believe as you do, and fear the results if I did. God bless.