First storm..... and grace

I messed up last night. Accessed porn on the computer, and did again this afternoon. All day I have felt like giving up. The devil was doing a pretty good job of discouraging me, and I was doing a pretty good job of beating myself up.

Music never ceases to amaze me. I love it, and God has really been using it in my life lately. It was a song that brought me to repentance, and it has been songs that have really been ministering to me lately. And it was a song that spoke to me late this afternoon. I got a live concert DVD of a group I like in the mail today and was watching it. It had a song on it that I already have by them on CD, but it hit me hard, and I found myself crying and knew that I could get back to my feet and plod on, that God wasn't mad at me, nor waiting to throw me out on my ear. The song is about grace, a common theme in the songs I have been listening to lately.

It seems like such an elementary and basic thing for those growing up in the church. I've sung "Amazing Grace" probably hundreds of times. I have pulled up all the songs on my Itunes that have "grace" in the title, and there are 82. There are a few repeats of course, but there are still a lot that are different, and I have been trying to soak up the idea.

I don't deserve it, but isn't one of the basic definitions of grace "unmerited, or undeserved, favor"? How did I miss it all these years, and why did I? If it was deserved, there is no way I would qualify, but the fact that I don't deserve it, totally, 100% qualifies me.

I'm sure this won't be the last time I stumble, or are discouraged and feel like giving up. That is one reason I am blogging, so I can come back and be reminded that I got back on my feet before, and can do it again.

What I need to remember, is though I will remember this fall, and the devil will help me to remember it, and will do his best to blow it out of proportion...... God won't remember, and has already forgiven me and forgotten it.

One thing that has really been sticking out to me lately, is the fact that God forgives, even when He knows we will go out and do the same thing again. Even knowing that, He still forgives and extends His grace. Wow.

There's a somewhat new song that I have been listening to. I had it on my Ipod and Itunes for 3 years, according to Itunes, but haven't heard it in maybe that amount of time, but it popped up under my "grace" songs. I put it on my last blog post, but am going to again. The song is "Only Grace" by Matthew West.

Only Grace by Matthew West

There is no guilt here
There is no shame
No pointing fingers
There is no blame
What happened yesterday…has disappeared
The dirt has washed away
And now it's clear

There's only grace
There's only love
There's only mercy and believe me it's enough
Your sins are gone
Without a trace
And there's nothing left now
There's only grace

You're starting over now
Under the sun
You're stepping forward now
A new life has begun
Your new life has begun

An’ there's only grace
There's only love
There's only mercy and believe me…it's enough
Your sins are gone
Without a trace
And there's nothing left now
There's only grace…

And if you should fall again
Get back up, get back up
Reach out and take my hand
Get back up, get back up
Get back up again
Ohh…get…back…up…again…


There's only grace…
There's only love…
There's only mercy and believe me it's enough…it’s enough
Your sins are gone
Without a trace
And there's nothing left now
There's only…there’s only…grace…

There's only mercy and believe me it's enough…it’s enough
Your sins are gone
Without a trace
And there's nothing left now
There’s only…grace……
So get back up…get back up again…
Get back up again.