Parent problems

   My youngest sister and her family are moving over 500 miles away from us to pastor a small church. To say we aren't thrilled is an understatement. I had been hoping they would move closer, not further away.

  I called her yesterday to chat, and she asked me a surprising question at one point: "Do you ever remember Mom & Dad telling you they were proud of you?" The answer was "no" of course. She went on to say she always felt like she needed to act a certain way, to get certain grades for them to be happy with her. She said how hard it has been with this upcoming move, something they feel God wants, with my parents fighting it.

  I was shocked. I thought it was just me. We even discussed how they still try to tell us what to do and won't let us make our own decisions without giving their opinions and trying to convince us to do what they want. And they aren't bad people. As my sister said, they'd do anything for us, help in any way they could if we needed help, but they won't let us go. They won't let us make our own decisions if they differ from what they want. And we are adults.

  My sister went on to say that the man who is currently principle at their Christian school, and he also attends their current church, had said he believes adult children should live 2-3 hours away from their parents. And he has 2 adult children with kids of their own, and yes, they live at least that far, if not further away from he and his wife. I've thought about that, and I think he is right. I believe it would be good for me to have a little distance from my parents. Not 500+ miles  like my sister is going to have here in a few weeks, but an hour or two, yet I know even if I found a job and place to live an hour away, I've got a fight on my hands. Sure doesn't sound like a healthy relationship.

   I never talk with my family about my sexual struggles, but did with my sister some yesterday. I told her about my mom coming into my room when I was 8 or 9 and saying my dad thought I was too old to get hugs and kisses from him, and how I grew up never having that from him, never feeling like he loved me, and that I was a disappointment. It felt weird, yet freeing to talk to one of my siblings about it.

  I know I need to make some changes in my life, and this parent issue is one, but I feel it is best to do so when I have a job and can get out on my own again. I need to live like what I am: an adult.