My book

I don't know if I ever mentioned it on here, but a couple of years ago, I started writing a book. I had commented to my best friend a few times how I wished a good Christian author would write a book where the main character was a gay male, and show the battle and struggle of such a character. He told me I should do it, so I started writing, actually typing. I have over 48,000 words typed so far, which is a pretty good start I guess.

The book is fiction, and I like most of what I wrote so far. I was reading over most of it today and found myself crying a lot - its an emotional book in parts. There are parts that need changed or taken out, but I still think the plot is pretty good and I love my characters I came up with. I'm just not sure what to do with it. My best friend has worked on it some, tweaked it, etc..... not sure how much, and I haven't seen what he has done with it, but I'm feeling again like I'd like to try working on it more. I got so depressed that I shelved it and haven't done anything on it for months, maybe a couple of years.

But the thing is, what if no one would publish it anyway? Homosexuality isn't a popular subject for Christian fiction, so even if it became a good enough story, would anyone publish it? And if so.... would I want my name on the cover? If I did that, I might as well admit to the world my struggle, and my family would read it....I talk about the causes of homosexuality in it and triggers - lack of affection from the father, a too controlling mother...... that would offend them, but could I have a book published anonymously? That would be hard not to tell people about. I really have no idea what to do with it and about it, but I do think Christians need educated a bit and woken up to the fact of how many people in our churches are struggling with it, and a fiction book might help...... wish I knew what to do, but I don't