Noticing guys

  As I mentioned in my last blog post, I was home alone Friday evening and watched a movie. It was the sequel to one I liked, even though they are geared more for teenagers. I found the lead character extremely cute, and for the record though he plays a younger character in the movie, he is 20 or 21. I tried not to think about his cuteness and focused on the action. Thankfully, he remained fully clothed during the movie. It always makes it worse if they go shirtless.

  The noticing guys thing has always been an issue with me. I have heard it said one look is OK, but if you look twice, that is when you're doing wrong, but what is the answer? Where I work, there are a lot of people in and out, and a lot of people working there. There are a lot of guys in scrubs, and for some reason, I find guys in scrubs very hot. I don't want to beat myself up for noticing a guy is cute or hot, but neither do I want to sin and/or cause myself more temptation.

  Summer is the worst for me. I prefer warmer weather, but it is also more difficult to avoid looking a second time, or even more. In the past, I have driven around the block to get another look. Shirtless guys are a big area of temptation for me.

 I am thankful that once I get to know guys well and feel accepted by them, I don't usually have trouble being attracted to them. A great case in point is one of my co-workers. He is just 2 months shy of turning 21, very nice looking kid, in great shape. I even saw him shirtless once..... he and I were in our break room and he took his shirt off to put some kind of heat patch. I helped him put it on, as it was going on his back. Even with that incident, I never find myself lusting after him. I think for the same reason I don't struggle with that with guys at church. I feel accepted by him. He seems to like me and treats me as an equal. The first couple of days I was around him, I did find myself lusting, but once I got to know him, it wasn't an issue.

  I have had a ton of anonymous one time sexual encounters, and over the years there have been the occasional guy I got with several times, and more often than not, the more I got to know them, the less I wanted to have sex with them.

 This has helped cement the idea in my mind that I am attracted to other guys because I see them as what I am not. I don't mean this to sound rude, but guys who I have viewed as beneath me, I wasn't attracted to. Guys who I felt accepted by, even if they had what I didn't - i.e. looks, good job, money, etc. - if I felt they accepted me and viewed me as an equal, I didn't struggle with lust or being attracted to them.

  Back to my original point..... when does it become sin. I don't want to give myself too much leeway, but I am also tired of beating myself up for noticing a guy is nice looking. I have in the past. In fact, I have given up and quit trying to be a Christian from being discouraged about noticing. Is it one look OK, two wrong? Or when you start thinking "Man I'd like to....", or mentally start undressing the guy?

  Now it isn't too bad, though I do have some problems at work, but summer will be far worse. Hopefully I can get the issue straightened out.